d itself, and brushed, itself down. All this
while their wounded comrades lay writhing, and appealing for help
in vain. It was with difficulty that, lame as I was, I could be
restrained from dashing to their aid. But at last everything was in
order. Stretchers were solemnly lifted. The detachments marched slowly
forward, and deposited their stretchers each beside a wounded man.
Then began a scene of busy bandaging. But not until the whole ten had
been bound up, legs, arms, heads, feet, fingers &c, was it permissible
to lift one of them from the cold cold ground which he had bedewed
with his blood.

"Now then," said the Sergeant, "carefully and all together. Lift!"
and all together they were lifted and placed in their stretchers. More
play with straps and buckles, more rising and stooping, and then the
pale and gasping burdens were at last raised and carried in a mournful
procession round the ground. But when they arrived at the place
where the ambulance was supposed to be, they had all been dead,
three-quarters of an hour. "Dear me," said the Sergeant, "how vexing.
ROBINSON, your chin-strap's gone wrong. Now, all together. Drop 'em!"
And so the day ended, and the pitiless sun sated with, &c., &c., &c.

I afterwards visited the Field Hospital to see a number of wax figures
in uniform, cheerfully arranged as wounded men in all the stages
of pain and misery. How encouraging for TOMMY ATKINS, I thought
to myself; but at this moment my supporter informed me that he had
remembered where to find the battle-pictures, and thither therefore
we proceeded, thankful in the knowledge that if either of us ever
happened to be struck down in battle he would be well looked after by
an admirably drilled body of men.

I am, Sir,
Yours as usual,
LE PETIT SHOWS.

* * * * *

THE PROFESSIONAL GUEST AT A COUNTRY HOUSE.

DEAR MR. PUNCH,

Trusting that you take some interest in my fate, after the more or
less pleasant (?) week I spent at Henley, I hasten to let you know
that I am again visiting friends, though this time on _terra firma_,
and that the customary trials of the "Professional Guest" are once
more my portion. The very evening of my arrival, I discovered that a
man with whom I had not been on speaking terms for years was to be my
neighbour at dinner, and that a girl (who really I cannot understand
_any one_ asking to their house) with the strangest coloured hair, and
the most unnaturally dark ey