he rises to his feet the House empties as if by magic.
In cases of inconvenience, when the Government wishes abruptly to close
a debate by counting out the House, it has invariably put up Mr.
Gentletie to speak. The device has never been known to fail. Nobody can
doubt that Mr. Gentletie's patriotic devotion to the Allied cause well
merits the knighthood which is now bestowed on him.'

JOHN (_astounded_.) Stay me with flagons!

TRANTO. So that's that! And who else?

CULVER. Another of your esteemed uncles.

TRANTO. Well, that's not very startling, seeing that my uncle's chief
daily organ is really a department of the Government.

JOHN. What I say is--

HILDEGARDE (_simultaneously with_ John). Wouldn't it be more
correct--(_continuing alone_) wouldn't it be more correct to say that
the Government is really a department of your uncle's chief daily organ?

JOHN. Hilda, old girl, I wish you wouldn't interrupt. Cookery's your
line.

HILDEGARDE. Sorry, Johnnie. I see I was in danger of becoming unsexed.

CULVER (_to_ John). Yes? You were about to say?

JOHN. Oh, nothing.

CULVER (_to_ Tranto). Shall I read the passage on your uncle?

TRANTO. Don't trouble. Who's the next?

CULVER. The next is--Ullivant, munitions manufacturer. Let me see.
(_Reads_.) By the simple means of saying that the cost price of shells
was eighteen shillings and ninepence each, whereas it was in fact only
ten shillings and ninepence, Mr. Joshua Ullivant has made a fortune of
two million pounds during the war. He has given a hundred thousand to
the Prince of Wales's Fund, a hundred thousand to the Red Cross, and a
hundred thousand to the party funds. Total net profit on the war, one
million seven hundred thousand pounds, not counting the peerage which is
now bestowed upon him, and which it must be admitted is a just reward
for his remarkable business acumen.'

TRANTO. Very agreeable fellow Ullivant is, nevertheless.

CULVER. Oh, he is. They're most of them too damned agreeable for
anything. Another prominent name is Orlando Bush.

TRANTO. Ah!

MRS. CULVER. I've met his wife. She dances beautifully at charity
matinees.

CULVER. No doubt. But apparently that's not the reason.

TRANTO. I know Orlando. I've just bought the serial rights of his book.

CULVER. Have you paid him?

TRANTO. No.

CULVER. How wise of you! (_Reads_). 'Mr. Orlando Bush has written a
historical sketch, with many circumstantial details, of the political
or