he contrast and distress of his
drapery--ask'd, if I stood in want of the aids of the church--

I go by Water--said I--and here's another will be for making me pay for
going by Oil.

Chapter 4.XVI.

As I perceived the commissary of the post-office would have his six
livres four sous, I had nothing else for it, but to say some smart thing
upon the occasion, worth the money:

And so I set off thus:--

--And pray, Mr. Commissary, by what law of courtesy is a defenceless
stranger to be used just the reverse from what you use a Frenchman in
this matter?

By no means; said he.

Excuse me; said I--for you have begun, Sir, with first tearing off my
breeches-and now you want my pocket--

Whereas--had you first taken my pocket, as you do with your own
people--and then left me bare a..'d after--I had been a beast to have
complain'd--

As it is--

--'Tis contrary to the law of nature.

--'Tis contrary to reason.

--'Tis contrary to the Gospel.

But not to this--said he--putting a printed paper into my hand,

Par le Roy.

--'Tis a pithy prolegomenon, quoth I--and so read on....

--By all which it appears, quoth I, having read it over, a little too
rapidly, that if a man sets out in a post-chaise from Paris--he must go
on travelling in one, all the days of his life--or pay for it.--Excuse
me, said the commissary, the spirit of the ordinance is this--That if
you set out with an intention of running post from Paris to Avignon, &c.
you shall not change that intention or mode of travelling, without first
satisfying the fermiers for two posts further than the place you repent
at--and 'tis founded, continued he, upon this, that the Revenues are not
to fall short through your fickleness--

--O by heavens! cried I--if fickleness is taxable in France--we have
nothing to do but to make the best peace with you we can--

And So the Peace Was Made;

--And if it is a bad one--as Tristram Shandy laid the corner-stone of
it--nobody but Tristram Shandy ought to be hanged.

Chapter 4.XVII.

Though I was sensible I had said as many clever things to the commissary
as came to six livres four sous, yet I was determined to note down
the imposition amongst my remarks before I retired from the place; so
putting my hand into my coat-pocket for my remarks--(which, by the
bye, may be a caution to travellers to take a little more care of
their remarks for the future) 'my remarks were stolen'--Never did sorry
traveller make s