ent, that all he had gained in the service
was a lame foot and the loss of an eye. The lieutenant, who could not
find in his heart to lose any opportunity of being witty at the expense
of his commander, gave a loose to his satirical talent once more,
saying,--"I have heard as how you came by your lame foot, by having
your upper decks over-stowed with liquor, whereby you became crank, and
rolled, d'ye see, in such a manner, that by a pitch of the ship your
starboard heel was jammed in one of the scuppers; and as for the matter
of your eye, that was knocked out by your own crew when the Lightning
was paid off: there's poor Pipes, who was beaten into all the colours of
the rainbow for taking your part, and giving you time to sheer off; and
I don't find as how you have rewarded him according as he deserves."

As the commodore could not deny the truth of these anecdotes, however
unseasonably they were introduced, he affected to receive them with good
humour, as jokes of the lieutenant's own inventing; and replied, "Ay,
ay, Jack, everybody knows your tongue is no slander; but, howsomever,
I'll work you to an oil for this, you dog." So saying, he lifted up one
of his crutches, intending to lay it gently across Mr. Hatchway's pate;
but Jack, with great agility, tilted up his wooden leg, with which he
warded off the blow, to the no small admiration of Mr. Pickle, and utter
astonishment of the landlord, who, by the bye, had expressed the same
amazement, at the same feet, at the same hour, every night, for three
months before. Trunnion then, directing his eye to the boatswain's mate,
"You, Pipes," said he, "do you go about and tell people that I did not
reward you for standing by me, when I was bustled by these rebellious
rapscallions? D-- you, han't you been rated on the books ever since?"

Tom, who indeed had no words to spare, sat smoking his pipe with
great indifference, and never dreamed of paying any regard to these
interrogations; which being repeated and reinforced with many oaths,
that, however, produced no effect, the commodore pulled out his purse,
saying, "Here, you b-- baby, here's something better than a smart
ticket;" and threw it at his silent deliverer, who received and pocketed
his bounty, without the least demonstration of surprise or satisfaction;
while the donor, turning to Mr. Pickle, "You see, brother," said he, "I
make good the old saying; we sailors get money like horses, and spend
it like asses: come, Pip