once,
however, this apophthegm failed; the next call was altogether as
ineffectual as the former; and moreover, attended with a phenomenon
which to them was equally strange and inexplicable: this was no other
than such a reduction in the size of Mrs. Trunnion as might have been
expected after the birth of a full-grown child. Startled at such an
unaccountable event, they sat in close divan; and concluding that
the case was in all respects unnatural and prodigious, desired that a
messenger might be immediately despatched for some male practitioner in
the art of midwifery.

The commodore, without guessing the cause of her perplexity, ordered
Pipes immediately on this piece of duty, and in less than two hours
they were assisted by the advice of a surgeon of the neighbourhood,
who boldly affirmed that the patient had never been with child. This
asseveration was like a clap of thunder to Mr. Trunnion, who had been,
during eight whole days and nights, in continual expectation of being
hailed with the appellation of father.

After some recollection, he swore the surgeon was an ignorant fellow,
and that he would not take his word for what he advanced, being
comforted and confirmed in his want of faith by the insinuations of
the midwife, who still persisted to feed Mrs. Trunnion with hopes of a
speedy and safe delivery; observing that she had been concerned in many
a case of the same nature, where a fine child was found, even after all
signs of the mother's pregnancy had disappeared. Every twig of hope, how
slender soever it may be, is eagerly caught hold on by people who find
themselves in danger of being disappointed. To every question proposed
by her to the lady, with the preambles of "Han't you?" or "Don't you?"
answer was made in the affirmative, whether agreeable to truth or not,
because the respondent could not find in her heart to disown any symptom
that might favour the notion she had so long indulged.

This experienced proficient in the obstetric art was therefore kept in
close attendance for the space of three weeks, during which the patient
had several returns of what she pleased herself with believing to be
labour pains, till at length, she and her husband became the standing
joke of the parish; and this infatuated couple could scarce be prevailed
upon to part with their hope, even when she appeared as lank as a
greyhound, and they were furnished with other unquestionable proofs of
their having been deceived. But