seem both to call aloud to me to
make no delay. I beg of you, therefore, not to disquiet yourself or me.
What must be, must be. The decrees of Providence are eternal and
unalterable; why, then, should we torment ourselves about that which we
cannot remedy?
I must confess, my dear sister, I owe you many obligations for your
exemplary fondness to me, and do solemnly assure you I shall retain the
sense of them to the last moment. All that I have to request of you is,
that I may be alone for this night. I have it in my thoughts to leave
some short observations behind me, and likewise to discover some things
of great weight which have been revealed to me, which may perhaps be of
some use hereafter to you and your friends. What credit they may meet
with I cannot say, but depend the consequence, according to their
respective periods, will account for them, and vindicate them against the
supposition of falsity and mere suggestion.
Upon this, his sister left him till about four in the morning, when
coming to his bedside to know if he wanted anything, and how he had
rested, he made her this answer; I have been taking a cursory view of my
life, and though I find myself exceedingly deficient in several
particulars, yet I bless God I cannot find I have any just grounds to
suspect my pardon. In short, says he, I have spent this night with more
inward pleasure and true satisfaction than ever I spent a night through
the whole course of my life.
After he had concluded what he had to say upon the satisfaction that
attended an innocent and well-spent life, and observed what a mighty
consolation it was to persons, not only under the apprehension, but even
in the very agonies of death itself, he desired her to bring him his
usual cup of water, and then to help him on with his clothes, that he
might sit up, and so be in a better posture to take his leave of her and
her friends.
When she had taken him up, and placed him at a table where he usually
sat, he desired her to bring him his box of papers, and after he had
collected those he intended should be preserved, he ordered her to bring
a candle, that he might see the rest burnt. The good woman seemed at
first to oppose the burning of his papers, till he told her they were
only useless trifles, some unfinished observations which he had made in
his youthful days, and were not fit to be seen by her, or anybody that
should come after him.
After he had seen his papers burnt, and
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