roubled with this now.
I am getting old, Tom, and have lost nearly all my rails. I have had an
operation performed, too--a small piece let into my back--and I found it
a severe trial, Tom."

'"I dare say you did, Sir," said Tom Smart.

'"However," said the old gentleman, "that's not the point. Tom! I want
you to marry the widow."

'"Me, Sir!" said Tom.

'"You," said the old gentleman.

'"Bless your reverend locks," said Tom (he had a few scattered
horse-hairs left)--"bless your reverend locks, she wouldn't have me."
And Tom sighed involuntarily, as he thought of the bar.

'"Wouldn't she?" said the old gentleman firmly.

'"No, no," said Tom; "there's somebody else in the wind. A tall man--a
confoundedly tall man--with black whiskers."

'"Tom," said the old gentleman; "she will never have him."

'"Won't she?" said Tom. "If you stood in the bar, old gentleman, you'd
tell another story." '"Pooh, pooh," said the old gentleman. "I know all
about that."

'"About what?" said Tom.

'"The kissing behind the door, and all that sort of thing, Tom," said
the old gentleman. And here he gave another impudent look, which made
Tom very wroth, because as you all know, gentlemen, to hear an old
fellow, who ought to know better, talking about these things, is very
unpleasant--nothing more so.

'"I know all about that, Tom," said the old gentleman. "I have seen it
done very often in my time, Tom, between more people than I should like
to mention to you; but it never came to anything after all."

'"You must have seen some queer things," said Tom, with an inquisitive
look.

'"You may say that, Tom," replied the old fellow, with a very
complicated wink. "I am the last of my family, Tom," said the old
gentleman, with a melancholy sigh.

'"Was it a large one?" inquired Tom Smart.

'"There were twelve of us, Tom," said the old gentleman; "fine,
straight-backed, handsome fellows as you'd wish to see. None of your
modern abortions--all with arms, and with a degree of polish, though
I say it that should not, which it would have done your heart good to
behold."

'"And what's become of the others, Sir?" asked Tom Smart--

'The old gentleman applied his elbow to his eye as he replied,
"Gone, Tom, gone. We had hard service, Tom, and they hadn't all my
constitution. They got rheumatic about the legs and arms, and went into
kitchens and other hospitals; and one of 'em, with long service and hard
usage, positively lost his senses--