r instruments wherewith you labor; just as when you would have a
good sickle, you must not hack upon the stone with it. On this
subject no rule can be laid down. God leaves the matter to each
individually, that he shall treat his wife in accordance with reason,
according to the circumstances of each woman: for you are not to use
the authority which you have, according to your own will, for you are
her husband for this very purpose, that you may help to guide and
support her,--not that you should destroy her. Hence none can lay you
down a rule with exact limitations; you must understand yourself how
you are to proceed in accordance with reason.

Thus we have now heard in regard to husbands, also, what good works
those who please God are to perform,--namely, that they dwell with
their wives, endear themselves to them, and walk soberly with them.
Things cannot always go on as you would be glad to have them.
Therefore do you see to it that you act like a husband, and have so
much the more discretion, when it is lacking in the wife, while you
are to connive at some matters, tolerate and pardon some things,[2]
and give to the wife, also, her honor.

[Footnote 2: "Not disclosing the weaknesses of the wife to others,
nor observing them too narrowly himself, but hiding them both from
others, and his own eyes, by love: not seeing them further than love
itself requires."--_Leighton_.]

This _honor_ has been explained, I hardly know how. Some have
interpreted it thus: that the husband should procure food, drink, and
clothing for the wife, and should nourish her. Some have referred it
to marriage duties. I hold this to be the meaning, as I have said,
that the husband should treat the wife as consists with her being a
Christian, and a vessel or instrument of God. And thus they are both
to conduct: the wife is to hold the husband in honor, and on the
other hand also the husband is to give to the wife her honor. If
matters were thus directed, they would go on harmoniously, in peace
and love. Yet where this course is wanting, there will be more
disgust in the marriage state. Hence it comes to pass, when man and
wife take one another from nothing but lust, and imagine they will
have happiness and the gratification of appetite, that they
experience mere heart-anguish. But if you have a regard to God's work
and will, then may you live christianly in marriage,--not like the
heathen, who know not what God requires.

_As heirs together