agreeable. I cannot describe this agreeable
feeling with precision, but there was no sense of sexual gratification,
nor definite voluptuous sensation. From this time forward I always had
the desire for close bodily contact with the girl. Moreover she was
continually in my thoughts, and this to a much greater extent than
formerly. It was my desire to gain a harmless pleasure by being always
with her; it was impossible for me to imagine that we should ever be
separated. I had naturally heard a great deal about marriage. With these
and with similar thoughts I was occupied, but I cannot recall my
thoughts in a more detailed manner. But to this day I remember very
clearly my desire that the girl and I should never be separated from one
another. We returned home, and in the ensuing winter, as in previous
winters, we met at intervals. Naturally, physical contact was now much
more difficult. One night I had a dream with seminal emission. Then, as
for a long time before, I had been thinking a great deal about the girl;
I dreamed of one of the scenes on the seashore which I have just
described; it was in this dream that I had my first seminal emission. My
fondness for the girl persisted. Only when she left the day-school in
the town, and was sent away to a boarding-school, did my passion
gradually abate. At first when she went away, I felt very unhappy and
very lonely. My parents forced me to go out for walks with other boys
and to play with them; I did so only with the greatest reluctance.
Later, the girl did not disappear completely from my circle of
acquaintances, but I lost all interest in her. From school I went to the
university, having just before begun to masturbate. From the time I went
to the university until the present day I have occasionally had
intercourse with women, and my sexual development has been perfectly
normal."

In so far as in what has gone before I have described the individual
processes, there appear to be no important differences between the boy
and the girl, over and above those dependent upon the different
structure of the genital organs in the respective sexes. But one notable
difference must now be indicated. Just as in adult life in the female
sex sexual anaesthesia is very frequently observed, so that in coitus the
specific voluptuous sensation is wanting, and indeed often enough the
impulse to coitus itself is actually in abeyance (whereas in men the
sexual impulse and sexual pleasure are very