very sharp, and he
could discover in a moment if a peach was ripe on the wall; his hearing
was quick, for he was the first in the school to detect the footsteps of
his pedagogue; and he could smell anything savoury nearly a mile off, if
the wind lay the right way. Moreover, he knew that if he put his
fingers in the fire that he would burn himself; that knives cut
severely; that birch tickled, and several other little axioms of this
sort which are generally ascertained by children at an early age, but
which Jack's capacity had not received until at a much later date. Such
as he was, our hero went to sea: his stock in his sea-chest being very
abundant, while his stock of ideas was proportionably small.

We will pass over all the trans-shipments of Jack until he was
eventually shipped on board the Mendacious, then lying at Malta with the
flag of Sir Theophilus Blazers at the fore--a splendid ship, carrying
120 guns, and nearly 120 midshipmen of different calibres. (I pass over
captain, lieutenant, and ship's company, having made mention of her most
valuable qualifications.) Jack was received with a hearty welcome by
his uncle, for he came in pudding-time, and was invited to dinner; and
the Admiral made the important discovery, that if his nephew was a fool
in other points, he was certainly no fool at his knife and fork. In a
short time his messmates found out that he was no fool at his fists, and
his knock-down arguments ended each disputation. Indeed, as the French
would say, Jack was perfection in the _physique_, although so very
deficient in the _morale_.

But if Pandora's box proved a plague to the whole world. Jack had his
individual portion of it, when he was summoned to _box_ the compass by
his worthy uncle Sir Theophilus Blazers; who in the course of six months
discovered that he could not make his nephew box it in the three, which
he had warranted in his letter; every day our hero's ears were boxed,
but the compass never. It required all the cardinal virtues to teach
him the cardinal points during the forenoon, and he made a point of
forgetting them before the sun went down. They attempted it (and
various were the teachers employed to drive the compass into Jack's
head) his head drove round the compass; and try all he could, Jack never
could compass it. It appeared, as some people are said only to have one
idea, as if Jack could only have one _point_ in his head at a time, and
_to_ that point he would