ons, and after a variety of consulting
letters had passed between the various members of his family, it was
decided that, as his maternal uncle, Sir Theophilus Blazers, GCB, was at
that time second in command in the Mediterranean, he should be sent to
sea under his command; the Admiral, having in reply to a letter on the
subject, answered that it was hard indeed if he did not lick him into
some shape or another; and that, at all events, he'd warrant that Jack
should be able to box the compass before he had been three months
nibbling the ship's biscuit; further, that it was very easy to get over
the examination necessary to qualify him for lieutenant, as a turkey and
a dozen of brown stout in the boat with him on the passing day, as a
present to each of the passing captains, would pass him, even if he were
as incompetent as a camel (or, as they say at sea, a cable), to pass
through the eye of a needle; that having once passed, he would soon have
him in command of a fine frigate, with a good nursing first lieutenant;
and that if he did not behave himself properly, he would make his signal
to come on board of the flag-ship, take him into the cabin, and give him
a sound horsewhipping, as other admirals have been known to inflict upon
their own sons under similar circumstances. The reader must be aware
that, from the tenour of Sir Theophilus's letter, the circumstances
which we are narrating must have occurred some fifty years ago.

When Jack was informed that he was to be a midshipman, he looked up in
the most innocent way in the world, (and innocent he was, sure enough,)
turned on his heels, and whistled as he went for want of thought. For
the last three months he had been at home, and his chief employment was
kissing and romping with the maids, who declared him to be the
handsomest Littlebrain that the country had ever produced. Our hero
viewed the preparations made for his departure with perfect
indifference, and wished everybody good bye with the utmost composure.
He was a happy, good-tempered fellow, who never calculated, because he
could not; never decided, for he had not wit enough to choose; never
foresaw, although he could look straight before him; and never
remembered, because he had no memory. The line, "If ignorance is bliss,
'tis folly to be wise," was certainly made especially for Jack;
nevertheless he was not totally deficient: he knew what was good to eat
or drink, for his taste was perfect, his eyes were