of Mr Farmer, the first-lieutenant, as I could. With him I could
take the liberty if I found him in a good humour, though I dared not
with the captain; for, though the latter had some attachment for me, it
was a dreadfully wayward and capricious feeling.

The longer I sailed with him the more occasion I had to dread, if not
hate him. The poor man had no resources; it is not, therefore,
surprising that he began to have recourse to habitual ebriety. Then,
under the influence of his wife, he would be gay, mischievous,
tyrannical, and even cruel, according to the mood of the moment. Yet,
at the worst, though his feet faltered, when in his cups, his tongue
never did. He even grew eloquent under the vinous influence. It
sharpened his cunning, and wonderfully increased his aptitude for
mischief. It was a grievous calamity to all on board the ship that we
could not give his mind healthful occupation. I said that he was fond
of me; but I began to dread his affection, and to feel myself as being
compelled to submit to the playful caresses of a tiger. As yet, not
only had we not had the slightest difference, but he had often humoured
me to the detriment of the service, and in defiance of the just
discipline Mr Farmer wished to maintain. If I presumed upon this, who
shall blame such conduct in a mere boy? And then, Captain Reud was
necessary to me. I found that I could not avail myself of my too ample
allowance until he had endorsed my bills of exchange.

However, the concealed fang of the paw that had so often played with,
and patted me into vanity, was to wound me at length. It came upon me
terribly, and entered deeply into my bosom.

I was learning to play chess of the purser--the game had already become
a passion with me. It was also my turn to dine in the ward-room, and,
consequently, I was invited. The anticipated game at chess enhanced the
value of the invitation. That same forenoon the captain and I had been
very sociable. He gracious, and I facetious as I could. I had been
giving him a history of my various ushers, and he had been pleased to be
wonderfully amused. I was down in the midshipmen's berth: a full hour
after I had received the ward-room invitation, the captain's steward
shoved his unlucky head within the door, and croaked out, "Captain
Reud's compliments to Mr Rattlin, and desires his company to dinner
today."

I answered carelessly, rather flippantly, perhaps, "Tell the captain I'm
going