haunted him through half the
ships in the service, and finally drove him out of it. He had written
this book, and caused it to be printed--and he _published_ it also, for
nobody else could. His bookseller had tried, and failed lamentably.
Now, Don Silva was always publishing, and never selling. His cabin was
piled up with several ill-conditioned cases of great weight, which cases
laboured under the abominable suspicion of containing the unsold copies.

As much as ever I could learn of the matter, no one ever got farther
than the middle of the second page of this volume, excepting the
printer's devils, the corrector of the press, and the author. The book
was lent to me, but, great reader as I am, I broke down in attempting to
pass the impassible passage. The book might have been a good book, for
aught I, or the world, knew to the contrary: but there was a fatality
attending this particular part that was really enough to make one
superstitious--nobody could break the charm, and get over it. I wish
that the thought had occurred to me at that time of beginning it at the
end, and reading it backwards; surely, in that manner, the book might
have been got through. It was of a winning exterior, and tolerable
thickness. Never did an unsound nut look more tempting to be cracked,
than this volume to be opened and read. It had for its title the
imposing sentence of, "A Naval and Military _Tour up and down_ the Rio
de la Plate, by Don Alphonso Ribidiero da Silva."

I have before stated that my shipmates were all strangers to each other.
We had hardly got things to rights after leaving Cork, when Mr Silva
began, "as was his custom in the afternoon," to _publish_ his book. He
begged leave to read it to his messmates after dinner, and leave was
granted. With bland frankness, he insisted upon the opinions of the
company as he proceeded. He began--but the wily purser at once started
an objection to the first sentence--yea, even to the title. He begged
to be enlightened as to what sort of _tour_ that was that merely went
_up_ and _down_. However, the doctor came at this crisis to the
assistance of the Don, and suggested that the river might have _turns_
in it. The reader sees how critical we are in a man-of-war.

However, in the middle of the second page appeared the fatal passage,
"After having _paved_ our way up the _river_;" upon which, issue was
immediately joined, and hot argument ensued. The objector, of course,
w