table. "Now,
gentlemen--I do not mean to bully--I am only, God help me, a weak civil
arm of the service,"--and whining a little--"still very far from well.
Now I'll state my case to you, for your satisfaction, and to prevent any
little mistakes. I was lately afflicted with a sort of nondescript
atrophy, a stagnation of the fluids, a congestion of the small
blood-vessels, and a spasmodic contraction of the finitesimal nerves,
that threatened very serious consequences. At the survey, two of the
surgeons, ignorant quacks that they are, broached a most ridiculous
opinion--a heterodox doctrine--a damnable heresy. On hearing it, my
indignation was so much roused, that a reaction took place in my system,
as instantaneous as the effects of a galvanic battery. My vital
energies rallied, the stagnation of my fluids ceased, the small
blood-vessels that had mutinied returned to their duty; and I am happy
to say, that, though now far from enjoying good health, I am rapidly
approaching it. That is my case. Now for yours. As, gentlemen, we are
to be cooped up in this wooden enclosure for months, perhaps years, it
is a duty that we owe to ourselves to promote the happiness of each
other by good temper, politeness, mutual forbearance, and kindness. In
none of these shall you find me wanting, and to prove it, I will say
this much--singular cases will call forth singular remarks; you must be
aware that if such be dwelt on too long, they will become offensive to
me, and disturb that union which I am so anxious to promote. So let us
have done with the subject at once--make all your remarks now--joke,
quiz, jeer, and flaunt, just for one half hour,"--taking out his watch,
and laying it gently on the table--"by that time I shall have finished
my lunch, which, by-the-by, I began in the cabin; there will be
sufficient time for you to say all your smart things on the occasion;
but if after that I hear any more on the subject, by heavens, that man
who shall dare to twit me with it, shall go with me to the nearest shore
if in harbour--or shoot me, or I him, across the table at sea. Now,
gentlemen, begin if you please."

"The devil a word will I ever utter on the matter," said Farmer, "and
there's my hand upon it."

"Nor I."

"Nor I."

And every messmate shook him heartily by the hand, and by them the
subject was dropped, and for ever. That evening Dr Thompson made the
captain's punch, having carefully locked up in his largest tea