ngleness of
motive, with the last two in which he figured, _The Naughty Wife_ and _Home
and Beauty._ He clearly enjoyed his own part, but it was rather noticeable
that in his brief speech at the fall of the curtain he confined himself to
a personal acknowledgment of the public's sympathy with him in his illness
and their loyalty throughout his career, and made no reference to the play
or its authors.

O.S.

* * * * *

A SUPER-SURPRISE.

I have not seen the stalking
By a rabbit of a bear,
Nor yet an oyster walking
Sedately up the stair;
But a marvel as amazing
Inspires these doggerel rhymes,
For I've read a leader praising
The PREMIER in _The Times_.

* * * * *

A HOUSE-WARMING.

"Considerable damage was done by fire at ---- Cottage on Wednesday
evening. The stairs, part of the floor, doors, furniture, etc., were
destroyed.

---- presided at the piano, and Mrs. ---- presided over the
refreshments. 'God save the King' was sung at the close of the
enjoyable day."--_Local Paper_.

* * * * *

The Labour "Council of Action" have kindly stated that they are "content to
leave the French Government to the French people." They are however
reserving the right to leave the British Government to the Bolshevists.

* * * * *

"We must repeat the Scots proverb that--'Delays are dangerous.'"--
_Sunday Paper._

Or, as DRYDEN says in his Address to a Haggis, "De'il tak' the hindmost."

* * * * *

"The proportion of sane to insane persons in civilized countries is
about one to 300."--_Canadian Paper_.

Surely Carlyle said something very like this years ago.

* * * * *

COMMERCIAL CANDOUR.

"RAINCOATS AT LESS THAN COST PRICE LAST 3 DAYS."--_Advert. in
Provincial Paper_.

* * * * *

"Lady has Left-off Clothing; privately."--_Provincial Paper._

Of course. That goes without saying.

* * * * *

[Illustration: _Trainer_ (_to Irish apprentice who has finished among the
"also ran"_). "WHY DIDN'T YOU HANG ON TO THE FAVOURITE? DIDN'T I TELL YOU
YOU WERE THE ONLY ONE HE WAS AFRAID OF."

_Apprentice._ "THAT'S JUST IT, SORR. 'TWAS THE WAY HE WAS SO AFRAID OF ME,
WHIN WE CAME INTO THE STRAIGHT, HE