ds must stand aloof and leave
me to the combat alone; Oh, blessed and promised Comforter, bring to
my remembrance, and impress on my weary spirit these sweet words of my
Saviour. But it has often occurred to me, and may in that hour, that
though Jesus received sinners, they were ignorant sinners. The Jews
understood not the gospel contained in their types and sacrifices;
they were unenlightened and unconverted; the Gentiles were totally
blind, serving dumb idols; neither had known the gospel, neither had
tasted the grace of God, neither were backsliders, like me. I have
known the truth, been enlightened, tasted of the heavenly gift, been
made a partaker of the Holy Ghost, tasted of the good word of God, and
of the power of the world to come.

"Fifty years ago the Lord convinced me of my sin, my misery, and
my total helplessness. I was also, I think, enabled to lay hold on the
hope set before me.

"I have, in numerous exercises and acts, accepted of God's gift
of Jesus Christ to me a condemned sinner; taking hold of the Scripture
words of invitation and promise held out for my acceptance. I have
pleaded his own covenant provision, in the substitution of his own Son
in my stead, making him to be sin, who knew no sin, that sinners might
be made the righteousness of God in him. I put in my claim as a
sinner, among the ungodly for whom Christ died. I believed his
testimony, and set to my seal that God is true. I rested on this
foundation--I yet have no other; I know there is no other. The
foundation standeth sure. But Oh, what am I to think of the fruits? I
have again and again turned back into the world, grieved the Spirit,
crucified the Son of God afresh, and put him to open shame. No wonder
I stand alarmed at the apostle's assertion: my conscience testifies
that my character is nearly, if not altogether, such as the apostle,
by the Holy Spirit, says it is impossible to renew to repentance.
Hebrews 6:4, 5. But thou hast renewed to repentance! Thy name is 'the
Lord, the Lord God, merciful and gracious, long-suffering, and
abundant in goodness and truth, keeping mercy for thousands, forgiving
iniquity, transgression, and sin.' Thou wilt by no means clear the
guilty; but thou hast provided a substitute, and laid my guilt and
guilty person on thine own Son.

"By this gracious name thou wast known to thy backsliding Israel
in the wilderness; whose heart, like mine, was not right with God;
neither were they st