romotion of his faithful friend BALFOUR.
_He_ doesn't want to lead. Ah no, indeed, indeed!
Do you think that off friend ARTHUR JOACHIM can wish to score?
Upon the Treasury Bench did he ever try to trench
On the province of the Leader for the time, no matter who?
He would cry, "Dear ARTHUR, No! from priority I blench,--
"After _you_!"

Then bland BALFOUR in his turn such crude selfishness would spurn
As the wish to prove himself popular more than soft J.G.,
With a most becoming blush his pale cheek, I'm sure, would burn,
If his uncle should cry, "Come, nephew dear, and second me!"
He would hint at nepotism, and the chance of secret schism.
"Let the mild ex-Liberal lead, I will be his henchman true!"
He would cry, with selfless joy on his brow like a pure chrism,
"After _you_!"

And as for simple Me! Oh, it's utter fiddle-de-dee
To suppose that I possess, or desire, the least look in.
No, selfishness, my friends, we unitedly agree
In Party life is just _the_ unpardonable sin,
Which "we do not understand," like that other little game
That AH-SIN, reluctant, played, with some small success 'tis true.
But _we_'ve no sleeve-hidden card as we cry, with modest shame,
"After _you_!"

* * * * *

WHAT'S IN A NAME?--The _St. James's Gazette_ says:--"There are
forty-seven divorces in the United States for every one in the United
Kingdom." Evidently "United" is something more than _anagrammatically_
identical with "Untied."

* * * * *

"GRAY'S ELEGY" AMENDED.

["I have often thought that GRAY's _Elegy_ was defective
in having no verse commemorative of the sequestered and
unsophisticated philanthropy of the village doctor."--_Sir
James Crichton-Browne at the Yorkshire College, Leeds._]

And one lies here of whom the scoffer said,
He did his best the green churchyard to fill;
None ever looks upon his lowly bed,
Without the recollection of a pill.

He lived sequestered, and he died unknown,
A truly unsophisticated man;
A medicine-glass adorns his humble stone,
And thus the epitaph they graved him ran:

"Here Doctor BOLUS lies, to dose no more;
His charge was moderate, but quite enough:
Death left a last prescription at the door,
And then the doctor had his '_Quantum suff._'"

* * * * *

[Illustration: