removable by various measures,
concerning which much might be said if they were not actionable.

* * * * *

[Illustration: PORTRAIT OF A GENTLEMAN "BREAKING IN" HIS
SHOOTING-BOOTS.]

* * * * *

"GRATITUDE--A SENSE OF FAVOURS TO COME."--Mr. SWINBURNE unexpectedly
says a good word for the much be-mocked BOWDLER. "No man (he says),
ever did better service to SHAKSPEARE than the man who made it
possible to put him into the hands of intelligent and imaginative
children." Can Mr. SWINBURNE be "proticipating" the period when
another BOWDLER may be called upon to do a similar "service" for the
author of _Poems and Ballads?_

* * * * *

[Illustration: FRENCH AND ENGLISH.

(_As zey are Spoke at ze Country 'Ouse._)

_Hostess_. "OH--ER--J'ESPAIR KER VOOS AVVY TROOVY
VOTRE--VOTRE--ER--ER--VOTRE _COLLAR STUD_, BARRONG?"

_M. le Baron_. "OH, I ZANK YOU, YES! I FIND 'EEM ON MY _CHEST OF
TROWSERS_!"]

* * * * *

"AFTER YOU!"

["I am sure I may say, on behalf of all those whose names are
mentioned (for the Leadership of the House of Commons),
that we do not understand what selfishness is in the Public
Service. Everyone of us would prefer that someone else should
hold that high and honourable office."--_Sir M. Hicks-Beach at
Stockton-on-Tees_.]

_Eminent official Altruist loquitur_:--

Oh, _is_ there such a vice as unholy love of self.
In the Public Service, too? 'Tis a thing I can't believe.
If I thought we could be moved by the love of power or pelf,
To compete for premier office I should very greatly grieve.
But oh no, oh deary no! I am sure it can't be so.
We don't even "understand it," so of course it isn't true.
When we're called upon to go, each will say, all louting low,
"After _you_!"

We are not "competitive," like those naughty goddesses
Who poor Paris fluttered so upon Ida's pine-clad peak.
Of his "choice"--through selfishness--that young shepherd made a mess,
But our Shepherd, SALISBURY, will not be so wildly weak;
And our claims _we_ shall not urge to compulsion's very verge,
On the contrary each one thinks that "another" best will do.
"No, loved comrade" (each will say) "let me make my 'splendid splurge'
"After _you_!"

Look at GOSCHEN! Can't you see he regards with perfect glee
The prospect of p