ore them,
in one of which was the picture of Virtue, and that of Fortune in the
other. The last went before, carried by a semi-quavering friar, at whose
heels was another, with the shadow or image of Virtue in one hand and an
holy-water sprinkle in the other--I mean of that holy mercurial water which
Ovid describes in his Fasti. And as the preceding Semiquaver rang a
handbell, this shaked the sprinkle with his fist. With that says
Pantagruel, This order contradicts the rule which Tully and the academics
prescribed, that Virtue ought to go before, and Fortune follow. But they
told us they did as they ought, seeing their design was to breech, lash,
and bethwack Fortune.

During the processions they trilled and quavered most melodiously betwixt
their teeth I do not know what antiphones, or chantings, by turns. For my
part, 'twas all Hebrew-Greek to me, the devil a word I could pick out on't;
at last, pricking up my ears, and intensely listening, I perceived they
only sang with the tip of theirs. Oh, what a rare harmony it was! How
well 'twas tuned to the sound of their bells! You'll never find these to
jar, that you won't. Pantagruel made a notable observation upon the
processions; for says he, Have you seen and observed the policy of these
Semiquavers? To make an end of their procession they went out at one of
their church doors and came in at the other; they took a deal of care not
to come in at the place whereat they went out. On my honour, these are a
subtle sort of people, quoth Panurge; they have as much wit as three folks,
two fools and a madman; they are as wise as the calf that ran nine miles to
suck a bull, and when he came there 'twas a steer. This subtlety and
wisdom of theirs, cried Friar John, is borrowed from the occult philosophy.
May I be gutted like an oyster if I can tell what to make on't. Then the
more 'tis to be feared, said Pantagruel; for subtlety suspected, subtlety
foreseen, subtlety found out, loses the essence and very name of subtlety,
and only gains that of blockishness. They are not such fools as you take
them to be; they have more tricks than are good, I doubt.

After the procession they went sluggingly into the fratery-room, by the way
of walk and healthful exercise, and there kneeled under the tables, leaning
their breasts on lanterns. While they were in that posture, in came a huge
Sandal, with a pitchfork in his hand, who used to baste, rib-roast,
swaddle, and swinge them