counts, and gave up his halfpenny (i.e.
vomited), seeing an archasdarpenin who laid a huge plenty of chamber lye to
putrefy in horsedung, mishmashed with abundance of Christian sir-reverence.
Pugh, fie upon him, nasty dog! However, he told us that with this sacred
distillation he watered kings and princes, and made their sweet lives a
fathom or two the longer.

Others built churches to jump over the steeples.

Others set carts before the horses, and began to flay eels at the tail;
neither did the eels cry before they were hurt, like those of Melun.

Others out of nothing made great things, and made great things return to
nothing.

Others cut fire into steaks with a knife, and drew water with a fish-net.

Others made chalk of cheese, and honey of a dog's t--d.

We saw a knot of others, about a baker's dozen in number, tippling under an
arbour. They toped out of jolly bottomless cups four sorts of cool,
sparkling, pure, delicious, vine-tree sirup, which went down like mother's
milk; and healths and bumpers flew about like lightning. We were told that
these true philosophers were fairly multiplying the stars by drinking till
the seven were fourteen, as brawny Hercules did with Atlas.

Others made a virtue of necessity, and the best of a bad market, which
seemed to me a very good piece of work.

Others made alchemy (i.e. sir-reverence) with their teeth, and clapping
their hind retort to the recipient, made scurvy faces, and then squeezed.

Others, in a large grass plot, exactly measured how far the fleas could go
at a hop, a step, and jump; and told us that this was exceedingly useful
for the ruling of kingdoms, the conduct of armies, and the administration
of commonwealths; and that Socrates, who first got philosophy out of
heaven, and from idling and trifling made it profitable and of moment, used
to spend half his philosophizing time in measuring the leaps of fleas, as
Aristophanes the quintessential affirms.

I saw two gibroins by themselves keeping watch on the top of a tower, and
we were told they guarded the moon from the wolves.

In a blind corner I met four more very hot at it, and ready to go to
loggerheads. I asked what was the cause of the stir and ado, the mighty
coil and pother they made. And I heard that for four livelong days those
overwise roisters had been at it ding-dong, disputing on three high, more
than metaphysical propositions, promising themselves mountains of gold by
solving them.