up by the middle, as I was sitting down, not
thinking any harm, and let me drop into a large silver bowl of cream, and
then ran away as fast as he could. I fell over head and ears, and, if I
had not been a good swimmer, it might have gone very hard with me; for
Glumdalclitch in that instant happened to be at the other end of the
room, and the queen was in such a fright, that she wanted presence of
mind to assist me. But my little nurse ran to my relief, and took me
out, after I had swallowed above a quart of cream. I was put to bed:
however, I received no other damage than the loss of a suit of clothes,
which was utterly spoiled. The dwarf was soundly whipt, and as a farther
punishment, forced to drink up the bowl of cream into which he had thrown
me: neither was he ever restored to favour; for soon after the queen
bestowed him on a lady of high quality, so that I saw him no more, to my
very great satisfaction; for I could not tell to what extremities such a
malicious urchin might have carried his resentment.

He had before served me a scurvy trick, which set the queen a-laughing,
although at the same time she was heartily vexed, and would have
immediately cashiered him, if I had not been so generous as to intercede.
Her majesty had taken a marrow-bone upon her plate, and, after knocking
out the marrow, placed the bone again in the dish erect, as it stood
before; the dwarf, watching his opportunity, while Glumdalclitch was gone
to the side-board, mounted the stool that she stood on to take care of me
at meals, took me up in both hands, and squeezing my legs together,
wedged them into the marrow bone above my waist, where I stuck for some
time, and made a very ridiculous figure. I believe it was near a minute
before any one knew what was become of me; for I thought it below me to
cry out. But, as princes seldom get their meat hot, my legs were not
scalded, only my stockings and breeches in a sad condition. The dwarf,
at my entreaty, had no other punishment than a sound whipping.

I was frequently rallied by the queen upon account of my fearfulness; and
she used to ask me whether the people of my country were as great cowards
as myself? The occasion was this: the kingdom is much pestered with
flies in summer; and these odious insects, each of them as big as a
Dunstable lark, hardly gave me any rest while I sat at dinner, with their
continual humming and buzzing about mine ears. They would sometimes
alight upon m