shonourable part of my body on those precious hairs, that once
adorned her majesty's head. Of these hairs (as I had always a mechanical
genius) I likewise made a neat little purse, about five feet long, with
her majesty's name deciphered in gold letters, which I gave to
Glumdalclitch, by the queen's consent. To say the truth, it was more for
show than use, being not of strength to bear the weight of the larger
coins, and therefore she kept nothing in it but some little toys that
girls are fond of.

The king, who delighted in music, had frequent concerts at court, to
which I was sometimes carried, and set in my box on a table to hear them:
but the noise was so great that I could hardly distinguish the tunes. I
am confident that all the drums and trumpets of a royal army, beating and
sounding together just at your ears, could not equal it. My practice was
to have my box removed from the place where the performers sat, as far as
I could, then to shut the doors and windows of it, and draw the window
curtains; after which I found their music not disagreeable.

I had learned in my youth to play a little upon the spinet.
Glumdalclitch kept one in her chamber, and a master attended twice a-week
to teach her: I called it a spinet, because it somewhat resembled that
instrument, and was played upon in the same manner. A fancy came into my
head, that I would entertain the king and queen with an English tune upon
this instrument. But this appeared extremely difficult: for the spinet
was near sixty feet long, each key being almost a foot wide, so that with
my arms extended I could not reach to above five keys, and to press them
down required a good smart stroke with my fist, which would be too great
a labour, and to no purpose. The method I contrived was this: I prepared
two round sticks, about the bigness of common cudgels; they were thicker
at one end than the other, and I covered the thicker ends with pieces of
a mouse's skin, that by rapping on them I might neither damage the tops
of the keys nor interrupt the sound. Before the spinet a bench was
placed, about four feet below the keys, and I was put upon the bench. I
ran sideling upon it, that way and this, as fast as I could, banging the
proper keys with my two sticks, and made a shift to play a jig, to the
great satisfaction of both their majesties; but it was the most violent
exercise I ever underwent; and yet I could not strike above sixteen keys,
nor consequently pl