is coat would exactly intersect the segment of
a circle described by any fluid, projected by us over this low roof,
which would thus act as a conductor into the very pole of his neck.

The housemaid (these housemaids are always the cause or the instruments
of mischief, either by design or neglect) had left standing near the
window a pail nearly filled with dirty water, from the wash-hand basins,
etcetera. Ned and I looked at each other, then at the pail, and then at
the admiral. Ned thought of his Maria: I of my false introduction.
Without saying a word we both laid our hands on the pail, and in an
instant, souse went all the contents over the admiral.

"I say, what's this?" he roared out. "Oh, you damned rascals!"

He knew it could only be us. We laughed so immoderately, that we had
not the power to move or to speak; while the poor admiral was spitting,
spluttering, and coughing, enough to bring his heart up.

"You infernal villains! No respect for a flag officer? I'll serve you
out for this."

The tears rolled down our cheeks; but not with grief. As soon as the
admiral had sufficiently recovered himself to go in pursuit, we thought
it time to make sail. We knew we were discovered; and as the matter
could not be made worse, we resolved to tell him what it was for. Ned
began,--"How do you do, admiral? you have taken a shower-bath this
morning."

He looked up, with his teeth clenched--"Oh, it's you, is it? Yes, I
thought it could be no one else. Yes, I have had a shower-bath, and be
damned to you, and that sea devil of a friend of yours. Pretty pass the
service has come to, when officers of my rank are treated in this way.
I'll make you both envy the tom-cat."

"Beware the housekeeper, admiral," said Ned. "Maria has made it up with
me, admiral, and she sends her love to you."

"Damn Maria."

"Oh, very well, I'll tell her so," said Ned.

"Admiral," said I, "do you remember when you sent the --- to sea in a
gale of wind, when I was midshipman of her? Well, I got just as wet
that night as you are now. Pray, admiral, have you any commands to the
Misses McFlinn?"

"I'll tell you when I catch hold of you," said Sir Hurricane, as he
moved upstairs to his room, dripping like Pope's Lodona, only not
smelling so sweet.

Hearing a noise, the housekeeper came up, and all the family assembled
to condole with the humid admiral, but each enjoying the joke as much as
ourselves. We, however, paid rather dea