have the Philadelphia version of this elegant phrase, I
inquired what it meant, and was informed, that in their country when
anyone had his bowels _squeezed_ out, they called it "_paunching_."

"Well," thought I, "after this, you might swallow the Po without
spoiling your breakfasts." The band struck up "Yankee Doodle," the
ladies were in ecstasy, and began to caper round the quarter-deck.

"La, Jemima!" said Deborah, "what have you done to the western side of
your gown? it is all over white."

This was soon brushed off, but the expression was never forgotten in the
ship, and always ludicrously applied.

Having shown them the ship and all its wonders, I was glad to conduct
them back to the shore. When I met the admiral, I told him I had done
the honours, and hoped the next time he had any female relatives he
would keep his engagements and attend to them himself.

"Why, now, who do you think they are?" said the admiral.

"Think!" said I, "why, who should they be but your Yankee cousins?"

"Why, was you such a damn flat as to believe what I said, eh? Why,
their father keeps a shop of all sorts at Philadelphia, and they were
going to New York on a visit to some of their relatives, when the ship
they were in was taken and brought in here."

"Then," said I, "these are not the _bon ton_ of Philadelphia?"

"Just as much as Nancy Dennis is the _bon ton_ of Halifax," said the
admiral; "though the uncle, as I told you, is a sensible fellow in his
way."

"Very well," said I, "you have caught me for once; but remember, I pay
you for it."

And I was not long in his debt. Had he not given me this explanation, I
should have received a very false impression of the ladies of
Philadelphia, and have done them an injustice for which I should never
have forgiven myself.

The time of our sailing drew near. This was always a melancholy time in
Halifax; but my last act on shore was one which created some mirth, and
enlivened the gloom of my departure. My friend Ned and myself had not
yet had an opportunity of paying off Sir Hurricane Humbug for telling
tales to Maria, and for his false introduction to myself. One morning
we both came out of our rooms at the same moment, and were proceeding to
the breakfast parlour, when we spied the admiral performing some
experiment. Unfortunately for him, he was seated in such a manner, just
clear of a pent-house, as to be visible from our position; and at the
same time, the collar of h