, indeed I am; but it is so long since I last
had one, that I was in hopes they had left me. I have invalided for
them four times, and just at the very periods when, if I could have
remained out, my promotion was certain."

He then told me I might remain on shore that day, if I pleased. I gave
him credit for his happy instinct in taking the hint of the fit; and as
soon as I left him, he arose, went on board, and flogged two men for
being drunk the night before.

I did not fail to report all that had passed to my mess-mates, and we
sailed a few days afterwards for Barbadoes. On the first Sunday of our
being at sea, the captain dined in the gun-room with the officers. He
soon launched out into his usual strain of lying and boasting, which
always irritated our doctor, who was a sensible young Welshman. On
these occasions he never failed to raise a laugh at the captain's
expense, by throwing in one or two words at the end of each anecdote;
and this he did in so grave and modest a manner, that without a previous
knowledge of him, any one might have supposed he was serious. The
captain renewed his story of the corps of poodles to extract the fuses
from the shells. "I hoped," he said, "to see the institution of such a
corps among ourselves; and if I were to be the colonel of it, I should
soon have a star on my breast."

"That would be the dog star," said the doctor, with extreme gaiety.

"Thank you, doctor," said the captain; "not bad; I owe you one."

We laughed; the doctor kept his countenance; and the captain looked very
grave; but he continued his lies, and dragged in as usual the name of
Sir Sydney Smith to support his assertions. "If you doubt me, only ask
Sir Sydney Smith; he'll talk to you about Acre for thirty-six hours on a
stretch, without taking breath; his coxswain at last got so tired of it,
that he nick-named him `Long Acre.'"

The poor doctor did not come off scot-free; the next day, he discovered
that the deck leaked over his cabin, and the water ran into his bed. He
began, with a hammer and some nails, to fasten up a piece of painted
canvas, by way of shelter. The captain heard the noise of the hammer,
and finding it was the doctor, desired him to desist. The doctor
replied, that he was only endeavouring to stop some leaks over his bed:
the captain said they should not be stopped; for that a bed of _leeks_
was a very good bed for a Welshman.

"There, doctor: now we are quits: that's for your