supposed would have proceeded from the mouth of a human being. The
master, one day, incurred his displeasure, and he very flippantly told
the poor man to go to hell.

"I hope, sir," said the master, "I have as good a chance of going to
heaven as yourself."

"You go to heaven!" said the captain, "you go to heaven! Let me catch
you there, and I will come and kick you out."

This was, indeed, showing how far he would have carried his tyranny if
he could. But our feelings are relieved from any violent shock at this
apparent blasphemy, when we recollect that the poor man was an atheist;
and that his idea of heaven was that of a little parlour at the Star and
Garter, with a good fire, plenty of grog, and pipes of tobacco.

He kept no table, nor did he ever drink any wine except when he dined
with us; but got drunk every night, more or less, on the ship's spirits,
in his own cabin. He was always most violent in the evening. Our only
revenge was laughing at his monstrous lies on Sunday, when he dined with
us. One night, his servant came and told the midshipman of the watch,
that the captain was lying dead drunk on the deck, in his cabin. This
was communicated to me, and I determined to make the best use of it. I
ran down to the cabin, taking with me the midshipman of the watch, the
quarter-master, and two other steady men; and having laid the
water-drinker in his bed, I noted down the date, with all the
particulars, together with the names of the witnesses, to be used as
soon as we fell in with the admiral.

The next day, I think he had some suspicion of what I had done, and it
had nearly been fatal to me. It was blowing a fresh trade-wind, and the
vessel rolling very deep, when he ordered the booms to be cast loose and
re-stowed. This was nothing short of murder and madness; but, in spite
of every remonstrance, he persisted, and the consequences were terrible.
The lashings were no sooner cast off, than a spare top-mast fell and
killed one of the men. This was enough to have completed our mischief
for the day; but the devil had not done with us yet. The booms were
secured, and the men were ordered to rattle the rigging down, which, as
the vessel continued to roll heavily, was still more dangerous, and, if
possible, more useless than the former operation. He was warned of it,
but in vain; and the men had not been aloft more than ten minutes, when
one of them fell overboard. Why I should again have put my life