n as unreasonable;
actually it is often founded on a better understanding of their
temperaments and the character of the young men in the case than they
imagine--or in many cases can be made to see.

A manly man will approach the father of the girl he wishes to make his
wife, state his prospects, and ask the father's consent. If withheld, he
will not urge the girl into a hasty marriage, but will wait until the
opposition has diminished. In case this does not happen, the girl has at
least had an opportunity to learn her own mind. Many who have married
against their parents' wishes have lived happily; it must be admitted that
others have not. Delay, at least, gives time for reason to outweigh
romance.

[MANNERS AND SOCIAL CUSTOMS 729]

It is especially awkward for the girl if the parents of her fiance do not
approve his choice. In such case she should give ample time for their
disapproval to have whatever effect it may on the young man's feelings
towards her. Some girls refuse to enter a man's family unless made
welcome.

No girl should engage herself to a man she has known but a short time;
certainly not without searching inquiry into his reputation in his former
place of residence. No man can reasonably object to such inquiries;
indeed, he should welcome them; invite them by furnishing credentials. No
matter how violently in love a girl may be, she should not throw prudence
and discretion to the winds.

ANNOUNCEMENT OF ENGAGEMENTS.

An engagement may be announced soon after it is entered upon, or not until
several weeks before the marriage. Usually the engagement is known to the
two families some time in advance of the later formal announcement. This
is to save the girl embarrassment in case it is broken off. Should this
happen, the young man takes the blame upon himself, declaring the young
lady discarded him. Only an out-and-out cad would intimate to anyone that
he "threw her over."

The announcement of the engagement comes through the girl's family; the
man waits until it is their pleasure to make it known. The usual way is
for the girl and her mother to write notes to relatives and close friends.
The man, of course, will know when this is done, and may send notes to his
relatives and friends, or acquaint them by word of mouth, at the same
date. No special form is employed for such notes; they are always informal
and familiar.

How Disclosed.--Sometimes a girl announces her engagement to her most
int