iance
to go in debt to purchase her ring. Should it be less handsome than she
had hoped or expected, she should not give the slightest evidence of
disappointment. That would seem mercenary and grasping. Nevertheless, a
girl does doubtless get much more joy out of her engagement ring than she
does out of her wedding ring.

Though a girl may receive from her affianced gifts of jewelry, silver,
etc., as well as the bonbons, books and flowers she was privileged to
accept before her engagement, it is not in good taste for him to offer any
article of wearing apparel to her. He is not to buy clothes for her until
after their marriage. Nothing that cannot be returned to him uninjured in
case the engagement is broken is really correct for her to receive.

She will naturally receive many notes, letters, etc., from her fiance,
especially if he is called out of town often, or resides in another city.
The inexperienced, very-much-in-love girl is quite likely to write very
ardent and affectionate letters. Leave that to the man. If she knows her
Thackeray she will remember the rose-colored billet-doux poor Amelia used
to write to her George, and which lay unopened day after day, and will
model her missives upon the style of Lucy Snowe's to the Professor--"a
morsel of ice, flavored with ever so slight a zest of sweetness." Let her
make them bright, chatty, kindly, but not too tender.

[MANNERS AND SOCIAL CUSTOMS 731]

Length of Engagement.--As for the length of an engagement, it is often
argued that if one has made a mistake, it is much better to find it out
before marriage than after. A prolonged engagement, however, is not
advisable. It embarrasses a girl to be asked "When is it going to be?" and
be obliged to make evasive answers. Thc old saying "Absence makes the
heart grow fonder" often proves untrue. The long engagement is a strain,
undoubtedly. A year is quite long enough for the two to demonstrate their
fidelity and for all necessary preparations.

Breaking Off.--If the two develop incompatibility, after being convinced
it is irreconcilable the only thing to do is to sever the tie. This is
often heart-breaking if caused by the infidelity of one party, and always
humiliating, especially to the girl. To spare her as much as possible, the
man assumes the breaking-off was her act. He never allows himself to speak
of her save in terms of the most perfect respect. The presents, letters,
pictures, are returned, and Cupid retires