--I may proudly say, an imposing conscience. I
said to Mrs. T. one day, "I _have_ an imposing conscience," and she
really thought so--adding the cruel expression that she didn't know of
any thing about me but _was_ imposing, and that she first became aware
of the sad fact when she married me.

TIMOTHY TODD.

* * * * *

THE REIGN OF COUPS.

The situation of France is always striking. This is because its people
are always being struck with a succession of Napoleonic ideas. They
labor, for example, under a constant _coup d'etat_. Their Press is the
victim of a regular _coup de main_; their Strikes are daily evidences of
_coups de mains_; their Legislature suffers continually from _coup de
theatre_; and their Emperor is perpetually threatened with a _coup de
grace_. The energies of Frenchmen are not imprisoned; no, they are only
_couped_.

* * * * *

ELEVATED STATESMANSHIP--INSOBRIETY THE BEST POLICY.

Sir JOHN MACDONALD, the Premier of Canada, though an eccentric leader,
is a happy illustration of the most elevated statecraft. "He has been
drunk," says the Toronto _Globe_, "for several days, and incapacitated
for public affairs." Considering what Canadian affairs are (including
Sir JOHN,) this does not follow. Evidently it is not his policy to keep
sober. But Sir JOHN is often drunk, says the _Globe_; he was tight
before Prince ARTHUR, and he rushes to the bottle whenever the Fenians
give alarm. Now this strikes us as very good policy. It helps us to see
how convenient it was for Sir JOHN to magnify a few O'BRIENS and
O'SHAUGHNESSYS into an army with green banners, and how opportunely the
Dominion became intoxicated with its fears.

* * * * *

[Illustration: A POWERFUL PROTECTOR.

_Mother_. "WHY, ROSIE, HOW LATE YOU ARE TO-DAY!"

_Rosie_. "YES, MA, BUT I COULDN'T HELP IT. THERE WAS A POOR LITTLE GIRL
AT SCHOOL WHO HAD NO ONE TO TAKE CARE OF HER, AND SO I HAD TO SEE HER
HOME."]

* * * * *

COMIC ZOOLOGY.

Order-Reptilia.

THE VIPER.

The supposition that this snake prefers a file to any other species of
nourishment is a vulgar error, and belongs to the same mendacious
category as the stories that ostriches are fond of ten-penny nails and
soldiers of hard tack. It is true that old files are sometimes bitten by
vipers in localities where these serpents abound, but in the lizard and