I determined to go ahead, and leave
it to chance what I should say. I got up and told the people I reckoned
they know'd what I had come for; but if not, I could tell them. I had
come for their votes, and if they didn't watch mighty close I'd get
them too. But the worst of all was, that I could not tell them anything
about Government. I tried to speak about something, and I cared very
little what, until I choked up as bad as if my mouth had been jamm'd
and cramm'd chock-full of dry mush. There the people stood, listening
all the while, with their eyes, mouths, and ears all open to catch
every word I could speak.

"At last I told them I was like a fellow I had heard of not long
before. He was beating on the head of an empty barrel on the roadside,
when a traveller, who was passing along, asked him what he was doing
that for? The fellow replied that there was some cider in that barrel a
few days before, and he was trying to see if there was any then; but if
there was, he couldn't get at it. I told them that there had been a
little bit of a speech in me a while ago, but I believed I couldn't get
it out.

"They all roared out in a mighty laugh, and I told some other
anecdotes, equally amusing to them, and believing I had them in a
first-rate way, I quit and got down, thanking the people for their
attention. But I took care to remark that I was as dry as a
powder-horn, and that I thought that it was time for us all to wet our
whistles a little. And so I put off to a liquor-stand, and was followed
by the greater part of the crowd.

"I felt certain this was necessary, for I know'd my competitor could
talk Government matters to them as easy as he pleased. He had, however,
mighty few left to hear him, as I continued with the crowd, now and
then taking a horn, and telling good-humored stories till he was done
speaking. I found I was good for the votes at the hunt; and when we
broke up I went on to the town of Vernon, which was the same they
wanted me to move. Here they pressed me again on the subject. I found I
could get either party by agreeing with them. But I told them I didn't
know whether it would be right or not, and so couldn't promise either
way."

This famous barbecue was on Saturday. The next Monday the county court
held its session at Vernon. There was a great gathering of the pioneers
from all parts of the county. The candidates for the Governor of the
State, for a representative in Congress, and for the State Le