do, Mr.
Crockett?' And he shook me by the hand, although he know'd I went the
whole hog for Jackson. If he didn't, I wish I may be shot.

"Not only that, but he sent me a printed ticket to dine with him. I've
got it in my pocket yet. I went to dinner, and I walked all around the
long table, looking for something that I liked. At last I took my seat
beside a fat goose, and I helped myself to as much of it as I wanted.
But I hadn't took three bites, when I looked away up the table at a man
they called Tash (attache'). He was talking French to a woman on
t'other side of the table. He dodged his head and she dodged hers, and
then they got to drinking wine across the table.

"But when I looked back again my plate was gone, goose and all. So I
jist cast my eyes down to t'other end of the table, and sure enough I
seed a white man walking off with my plate. I says, 'Hello, mister,
bring back my plate.' He fetched it back in a hurry, as you may think.
And when he set it down before me, how do you think it was? Licked as
clean as my hand. If it wasn't, I wish I may be shot!

"Says he, 'What will you have, sir?' And says I, 'You may well say
that, after stealing my goose.' And he began to laugh. Then says I,
'Mister, laugh if you please; but I don't half-like sich tricks upon
travellers.' I then filled my plate with bacon and greens. And whenever
I looked up or down the table, I held on to my plate with my left hand.

"When we were all done eating, they cleared everything off the table,
and took away the table-cloth. And what do you think? There was another
cloth under it. If there wasn't, I wish I may be shot! Then I saw a man
coming along carrying a great glass thing, with a glass handle below,
something like a candlestick. It was stuck full of little glass cups,
with something in them that looked good to eat. Says I, 'Mister, bring
that thing here.' Thinks I, let's taste them first. They were mighty
sweet and good, so I took six of them. If I didn't, I wish I may be
shot!"

This humorous fabrication was copied into almost every paper in the
Union. The more respectable portion of Crockett's constituents were so
annoyed that their representative should be thus held up to the
contempt of the nation, that Crockett felt constrained to present a
reliable refutation of the story. He therefore obtained and published
certificates from three gentlemen, testifying to his good behavior at
the table. Hon. Mr. Verplanck, of New York, t