of mind. Malone, grinning most
unmeaningly, inducted himself into the corresponding seat on the other
side. She was thus blessed in a pair of supporters, neither of whom, she
knew, would be of any mortal use, whether for keeping up the
conversation, handing cups, circulating the muffins, or even lifting the
plate from the slop-basin. Little Sweeting, small and boyish as he was,
would have been worth twenty of them.

Malone, though a ceaseless talker when there were only men present, was
usually tongue-tied in the presence of ladies. Three phrases, however,
he had ready cut and dried, which he never failed to produce:--

1stly. "Have you had a walk to-day, Miss Helstone?"

2ndly. "Have you seen your cousin Moore lately?"

3rdly. "Does your class at the Sunday school keep up its number?"

These three questions being put and responded to, between Caroline and
Malone reigned silence.

With Donne it was otherwise; he was troublesome, exasperating. He had a
stock of small-talk on hand, at once the most trite and perverse that
can well be imagined--abuse of the people of Briarfield; of the natives
of Yorkshire generally; complaints of the want of high society; of the
backward state of civilization in these districts; murmurings against
the disrespectful conduct of the lower orders in the north toward their
betters; silly ridicule of the manner of living in these parts--the want
of style, the absence of elegance, as if he, Donne, had been accustomed
to very great doings indeed, an insinuation which his somewhat underbred
manner and aspect failed to bear out. These strictures, he seemed to
think, must raise him in the estimation of Miss Helstone or of any other
lady who heard him; whereas with her, at least, they brought him to a
level below contempt, though sometimes, indeed, they incensed her; for,
a Yorkshire girl herself, she hated to hear Yorkshire abused by such a
pitiful prater; and when wrought up to a certain pitch, she would turn
and say something of which neither the matter nor the manner recommended
her to Mr. Donne's good-will. She would tell him it was no proof of
refinement to be ever scolding others for vulgarity, and no sign of a
good pastor to be eternally censuring his flock. She would ask him what
he had entered the church for, since he complained there were only
cottages to visit, and poor people to preach to--whether he had been
ordained to the ministry merely to wear soft clothing and sit in king's