Latin ingenuities, she pursued the cultivation of that in
herself which is beyond our ordinary apprehension, that which is more
potent than knowledge, more fertilising to the mind--that by which
knowledge is converted from a fallow field into a fruitful garden.
Altogether, apart from her special subject, she learnt only enough of
anything to express herself; but it was extraordinary how aptly she
utilised all that was necessary for her purpose, and how invariably
she found what she wanted--if found be the right word; for it was
rather as if information were flashed into her mind from some outside
agency at critical times when she could not possibly have done without
it.

One sad consequence of her separation from Alfred, and the strange
things she did and dreamed for distraction in the unrest of her mind,
was a change in her constitution. Her first fine flush of health was
over, the equability of her temper was disturbed, and she became
subject to hysterical outbursts of garrulity, to fits of moody
silence, to apparently causeless paroxysms of laughter or tears; and
she was always anxious. She had real cause for anxiety, however, for,
in her efforts to realise her romance to Charlotte's satisfaction, she
had run up little bills all over the place. What would happen when
they were presented, as they certainly would be sooner or later, she
dared not think; but the dread of the moment preyed upon her mind to
such an extent that, whenever she heard a knock at the door, she
entreated God to grant that it might not be a bill. And even when
there were no knocks, she went on entreating to be spared, and worked
herself into such a chronic fever of worry that she was worn to a
shadow, and developed a racking cough which gave her no peace.

Just at this time, too, the whole place began to be scandalised by her
vagaries, her mysterious expeditions on the big brown horse, and her
constant appearance in public with a coterie of young men about her.
At a time when anything unconventional in a girl was clear evidence of
vice to all the men and most of the women who knew of it, Beth's
reputation was bound to suffer, and it became so bad at last that Dr.
Hardy forbade Charlotte to associate with her. Charlotte told her with
tears, and begged to be allowed to meet her in the Secret Service of
Humanity as usual; but Beth refused. She said it was too dangerous
just then, they must wait; the truth being that she was sick of the
Secret Serv