merly the property of a Czar named Nicholas, it is now owned by a
Superczar named Lenine.

The principal objects of interest are Samovars, Soviets, Sables, and the
Steppes.

The Steppes of Russia, though vast and quite bare, have nothing to do
with those of the Russian Dancers.

At the present stage of Russian Affairs they may better be compared to
the well-known Steps to Avernus, which are for descent only--and easy at
that!

Today almost the only articles of Russian Manufacture are Natural Ice
and Press Dispatches.

Of manufacture of the latter, as regards volume at least, there has
never been such an enorm----*

* Why go on about Russia?
_The Reader._

Quite right! Russia is too large for such a little Geography as this.

[Illustration: Map of THE BLACK SEA]

We will leave Russia as quickly as possible.

Watch your Steppe!

CHAPTER XXXVI

NORWAY AND SWEDEN

It is all very sad about Norway and Sweden! A handsomer country
couple--or couple of countries--it would be hard to meet anywhere, and
so propinquous! Have they not been next-door neighbours from the infancy
of the world?

And everybody knows what Propinquity does.

It is Cupid's middle name; what more natural than that they should get
married?

Haven't you heard? Well, it all happened so quickly, they were married
in Vienna in 1815, and--well, you know Propinquity is the Devil's middle
name, too--they were divorced in 1905 after a brief married life of only
ninety years!

What could have been the trouble?

Some say the food, others attribute it to the Domestic Drama. Perhaps it
was both. Here is a typical Scandinavian Menu--

Pjkled Ojsters
Bjsque of Snajls
Frjed Fjsh
Natjve Wjne
Qujnce Jce-cream
Onjons and Bjsqujts

It might almost pass for an Ibsen Play with the average theatre-goer; it
has what the average theatre-goer calls "atmosphere."

[Illustration]

_I once drew Ibsen, looking bored_
_Across a deep Norwegian Fjord,_
_And very nearly everyone_
_Mistook him for the Midnight Sun._

Norway is the home of the Ibsenian or stodgy, as distinguished from the
stagey, Drama.

James Huneker, the eminent Lexicographer, as a compliment to that great
and hirsutiferous playwright, has re-christened Norway "The Land of the
Midnight Whiskers."

* * *

The inhabitants of Norway and