ore
than five years."

"You hear the--the--what are you, Mr. Linden--something horrid, aren't
you?"

"He is, or his looks belie him," interjaculated Torbert.

"The prosecutor, your Honor," replied Linden, "prepared, with regard to
this prisoner, to be as horrid as I look."

"May it please the Court," began Torbert, with mock gravity, "I find
myself the victim of an unfortunate situation, and not a conscious and
willing offender against the Prandial Code. Justice is all I ask. More I
have no need for. Less I am confident your Honor never fails to render."

"Now, Mr. Prosecutor, where's my judicial temperament gone that you
compliment me upon so often?" demanded Miss Maddledock, turning sharply
to the lawyer. "I had it a moment ago, together with a frown; where
have they gone?"

"They will return directly I call your Honor's attention to the flagrant
nature of the prisoner's crime," said Linden--"a crime so utterly
atrocious--"

"True, you do well to remind me. Justice you called for, sir. Very well.
Justice you shall have. Go on!"

"Your Honor is most gracious. That part of the indictment which charges
me with having an engagement to dine with your Honor at seven P. M. is
admitted. I left my house in plenty of time, but--"

Mrs. Throcton (_sotto voce_).--Does the prisoner live in Harlem?

Miss Nancy.--Or in Hoboken?

The Court (with great dignity)--If the prisoner is going to put his
trust in the saving grace of the elevated cars or the tardy ferry, the
Court would prefer not to delay its consomme listening to such trivial
excuses. The Court's soup is growing cold.

A roar of laughter greeted this observation, and Mr. Linden remarked,
"The prosecutor feels it his duty to suggest that the prisoner enter a
plea of guilty, and throw himself at once upon the Court's mercy."

"The distinguished assistants to the prosecutor," said Torbert, turning
with an extravagant bow toward Mrs. Throcton and Miss Nancy, "think to
throw contempt upon the defense by associating it with Harlem and
Hoboken. Let them beware. Let them not tempt me to extremities. There
are insults which even my forbearing spirit will not meekly endure. Had
they said Hackensack--"

The Court--Well, what then?

"Then, your Honor, I should have objected; and had your Honor ruled
against me, I should have been reluctantly compelled to demand an
exception! But let me come at once to my defense. My offense, if offense
it is, was caused by the neces