But it's time for me now to be off to the lecthir at the Boord. O, my
sorra light upon you, Docther Whately, wid your plitical econimy and
your hydherastatics! What the _divul_ use has a poor hedge-masther like
me wid sich deep larning as is only fit for the likes ov them two I left
over their second tumbler? Howandiver, wishing I was like them, in
regard ov the sup ov dhrink, anyhow, I must brake off my norration for
the prisint; but when I see you again, I'll tell you how Father Tom made
a hare ov the Pope that evening, both in theology and the cube root.

II.

HOW FATHER TOM SACKED HIS HOLINESS IN THEOLOGY AND LOGIC.

Well, the lecther's over, and I'm kilt out and out. My bitther curse be
upon the man that invinted the same Boord! I thought onc't I'd fadomed
the say ov throuble; and that was when I got through fractions at ould
Mat Kavanagh's school, in Firdramore,--God be good to poor Mat's sowl,
though he did deny the cause the day he suffered! but its fluxions
itself we're set to bottom now, sink or shwim! May I never die if my
head isn't as throughother, as anything wid their ordinals and
cardinals,--and, begad, it's all nothing to the econimy lecthir that I
have to go to at two o'clock. Howandiver, I mustn't forget that we left
his Riv'rence and his Holiness sitting fornenst one another in the
parlor ov the Vatican, jist afther mixing their second tumbler.

When they had got well down into the same, they fell, as I was telling
you, into learned discourse. For you see, the Pope was curious to find
out whether Father Tom was the great theologinall that people said; and
says he "Mister Maguire," says he, "What answer do you make to the
heretics when they quote them passidges agin thransubstantiation out ov
the Fathers?" says he.

"Why," says his Riv'rence, "as there is no sich passidges I make myself
mighty asy about them; but if you want to know how I dispose ov them,"
says he, "just repate one ov them, and I'll show you how to
catapomphericate it in two shakes."

"Why then," says the Pope, "myself disremimbers the particlar passidges
they allidge out ov them ould felleys," says he, "though sure enough
they're more numerous nor edifying,--so we'll jist suppose that a
heretic was to find sich a saying as this in Austin, 'Every sensible man
knows that thransubstantiation is a lie,'--or this out of Tertullian or
Plutarch, 'the bishop ov Rome is a common imposther,'--now tell me,
could you answer him?"

"A