," Abe said. "This here is
only a preliminary claim of two million francs, on account of the loss
of regular customers because the hotel has been occupied for such a long
time by them American Peace Conferencers."

"Well, wouldn't most of the regular customers come back if the
management promised that after them Peace Conferencers went home they
would disinfect the hotel and give it a thorough overhauling or
something?" Morris asked.

"The question 'ain't been argued as yet, Mawruss," Abe said, "but you'll
have to admit that if two years from now a guest of the Hotel Crillon
complains to the management of something about his room smelling awful
peculiar, y'understand, and if the management should go to work and tear
up the floor and overhaul the plumbing, only to find that it's a case of
the room not having recovered from an American Jugo-Slob expert holding
conferences with the Jugo-Slob delegates to the Peace Conference in it,
understand me, two million francs ain't going to go such a long ways, in
especially at the present rate of exchange, Mawruss."

"Perhaps you're right, Abe," Morris said. "Perhaps it is better that a
lump sum like two million francs would be charged rather as go into the
items themselves, because, for instance, if that American mission to
negotiate peace had been staying at the hotel which we stayed at, Abe, a
bill would have been submitted like this, Abe:

"MM. American Mission to Negotiate Peace
TO HOTEL SE'ESCROQUERIE ET LONDRES, DR.

Terms, net cash 800 rooms; 8 baths
Tel.: 6060 Rivoli

March, 1919: To entertaining MM. Orlando and Sonnino, as follows:
Table overturned and following articles broken:
1 inkstand and mucilage-bottle. Fr. 24.50
1 table-cover damaged by mucilage. 45.00
Chairs injured as follows:
1 light chair thrown through window. 58.00
1 heavy chair thrown through window. 85.00
Labor as follows:
Sweeping up broken eye-glasses. 2.00
Sweeping up hair. 3.00
Removing blood-stains from carpet. 4.50
Credit:
By one unclaimed hat, labeled 'Mike, the Popular Rome Hatter'. .20
_____
Total