Dr. Depew, and he not only got sent to Washington, but got
a raise of wages at the Grand Central Depot; yet when I saw him the next
day and delicately intimated that I was yearning to view the scenic
beauty of his great four track system, his reception reminded me of the
lines of Longfellow, beginning--

"Try not the pass, the old man said
Dark lowers the tempest overhead."

and so, instead of resting that night on a beautiful Wagner
hair-mattress, I had to be content with "excelsior."

The only man who really appreciated my efforts was dear old Joe
Jefferson. When I gave him to understand that I was anxious to see him
in one of his matchless characterizations, he inquired if I had a family
that shared my anxiety, and when informed that I had, he generously
tendered all hands a pass to the family circle. The Lord loves a
cheerful giver, but the Lord help any one who strikes Joe for a free
pass.

I can understand that the life of an actor must be a trying one, and
success difficult to achieve, and it must be a source of great
gratification to Sir Henry to feel that he has done so much to elevate
the stage as well as the price of admission. But he deserves success,
and the last time I gave up three dollars to behold him, and afterwards,
with a lot of enthusiasts, took his horses from his carriage and dragged
him in triumph two miles to his hotel, I really felt that I had had a
run for my money.

But if, Sir Henry, in gratitude for this beautiful tribute which I have
just paid you, you should feel tempted to reciprocate by taking my
horses from my carriage and dragging me in triumph through the streets,
I beg that you will restrain yourself for two reasons. The first reason
is--I have no horses; the second is--I have no carriage.

* * * * *

A RUN ON THE BANKER

[Speech of Simeon Ford at the Annual dinner of the Manhattan Bankers of
the New York State Bankers' Association, February 7, 1900. The
President, Warner Van Norden, presided.]

GENTLEMEN:--As I sat here this evening, listening to the
strains of that fine old Bankers' anthem entitled "When you ain't got no
money, why you needn't come around," I was thinking what a grand idea it
was for you magnates to get together once a year to exchange ideas and
settle among yourselves what shall be done, and who shall be done, and
how you will do them. Personally, I'd prefer to exchange cheques rather
than ideas with many he