m. Our own instinctive
actions awaken within us an eager curiosity, an affectionate, pleased
surprise: why should we not train ourselves thus to regard the
instinctive actions of nature? We love to throw the dim light of our
reason on to our unconsciousness: why not let it play on what we term
the unconsciousness of the universe? We are no less deeply concerned
with the one than the other. "After he has become acquainted with the
power that is in him," said a philosopher, "one of the highest
privileges of man is to realise his individual powerlessness. Out of
the very disproportion between the infinite which kills us and this
nothing that we are, there arises within us a sensation that is not
without grandeur; we feel that we would rather be crushed by a mountain
than done to death by a pebble, as in war we would rather succumb
beneath the charge of thousands than fall victim to a single arm. And
as our intellect lays bare to us the immensity of our helplessness, so
does it rob defeat of its sting." Who knows? We are already conscious
of moments when the something that has conquered us seems nearer to
ourselves than the part of us that has yielded. Of all our
characteristics, self-esteem is the one that most readily changes its
home, for we are instinctively aware that it has never truly formed
part of us. The self-esteem of the courtier who waits on the mighty
king soon finds more splendid lodging in the king's boundless power;
and the disgrace that may befall him will wound his pride the less for
that it has descended from the height of a throne. Were nature to
become less indifferent, it would no longer appear so vast. Our
unfettered sense of the infinite cannot afford to dispense with one
particle of the infinite, with one particle of its indifference; and
there will ever remain something within our soul that would rather weep
at times in a world that knows no limit, than enjoy perpetual happiness
in a world that is hemmed in.

If destiny were invariably just in her dealings with the wise, then
doubtless would the existence of such a law furnish sufficient proof of
its excellence; but as it is wholly indifferent, it is better so, and
perhaps even greater; for what the actions of the soul may lose in
importance thereby does but go to swell the dignity of the universe.
And loss of grandeur to the sage there is none; for he is as profoundly
sensitive to the greatness of nature as to the greatness that lurks
within man