sez he. 'Suppose I
hadn't the money?' sez I. 'I should be obliged,' sez he in a kind o'
pained Christian-martyr way, 'ter sell YOUR hoss for two hundred, and
send the money to my fr'en'.' We looked at each other steddy for a
minit and then I counts him out a hundred and fifty. He took the money
sad-like and then sez: 'Mr. Borem,' sez he, 'this is a great morril
lesson to us,' and went back to the office. In the arternoon I called
in an old hoss dealer that I knew and shows him Pegasus.

"'He wants renewin',' sez he.

"'Wot's that?' sez I.

"'A few more bottles o' that British Blonde Hair Dye to set him up
ag'in. That's wot they allus do in the cirkis, whar he kem from.'

"Then I went back to the office and I took down my sign. 'What's that
you re doin'?' sez Lummox, with a sickly kind o' smile. 'Are you goin'
out o' the bizness?'

"'No, I'm only goin' to change that sign from "Dan'l Borem" to "Borem
and Lummox,"' sez I. 'I've concluded it's cheaper for me to take you
inter partnership now than to continue in this way, which would only
end in your hevin' to take me in later. I preferred to DO IT FUST.'"

VII

A rich man, and settled in business, John Lummox concluded that he
would marry Mary Bike. With that far-sighted logic which had always
characterized him he reasoned that, having first met her on a liner, he
would find her again on one if he took passage to Europe. He did--but
she was down on the passenger list as Mrs. Edwin Wraggles. The result
of their interview was given to Mrs. Bigsby by Dan'l Borem in his own
dialect.

"Ez far as I kin see, it was like the Deacon's Sunday hoss trade, bein'
all 'Ef it wassent.' 'Ef ye wasn't Mrs. Wraggles,' sez Lummox, sez he,
'I'd be tellin' ye how I've loved ye ever sence I first seed ye. Ef ye
wasn't Mrs. Wraggles, I'd be squeezin' yer hand,' sez he; 'ef ye wasn't
Mrs. Wraggles, I'd be askin' ye to marry me.' Then the gal ups and
sez, sez she: 'But I AIN'T Mrs. Wraggles,' sez she; 'Mrs. Wraggles is
my sister, and couldn't come, so I'm travelin' on her ticket, and
that's how my name is Wraggles on the passenger list.' 'But why didn't
ye tell me so at once?' sez Lummox. 'This is an episoode o' protracted
humor,' sez she, 'and I'M bound to have a show in it somehow!'"

"Well!" said Mrs. Bigsby breathlessly; "then he DID marry her?"

"Darned ef I know. He never said so straight out--but that's like
Lummox."

STORIES THREE

BY R-DY--D K-PL