stinct conducted him with unerring certainty;
he went straight to the Nile. A swarm of sails covered the upper waters
of the river. He sprang on board a barque manned by Nubians, and lying
in the forepart of the boat, his eyes devouring space, he cried, in
grief and rage--

"Fool, fool, that I was, not to have possessed Thais whilst there was
yet time! Fool to have believed that there was anything else in the
world but her! Oh, madness! I dreamed of God, of the salvation of my
soul, of life eternal--as if all that counted for anything when I had
seen Thais! Why did I not feel that blessed eternity was in a single
kiss of that woman, and that without her life was senseless, and no more
than an evil dream? Oh, stupid fool! thou hast seen her, and thou hast
desired the good things of the other world! Oh, coward! thou hast seen
her, and thou hast feared God! God! heaven! what are they? And what have
they to offer thee which are worth the least tittle of that which she
would have given thee? Oh, miserable, senseless fool, who sought divine
goodness elsewhere than on the lips of Thais! What hand was upon thy
eyes? Cursed be he who blinded thee then! Thou couldst have bought, at
the price of thy damnation, one moment of her love, and thou hast not
done it! She opened to thee her arms--flesh mingled with the perfume of
flowers--and thou wast not engulfed in the unspeakable enchantments of
her unveiled breast. Thou hast listened to the jealous voice which
said to thee, 'Refrain!' Dupe, dupe, miserable dupe! Oh, regrets! Oh,
remorse! Oh, despair! Not to have the joy to carry to hell the memory of
that never-to-be-forgotten hour, and to cry to God, 'Burn my flesh, dry
up all the blood in my veins, break all my bones, thou canst not take
from me the remembrance which sweetens and refreshes me for ever and
ever!' . . . Thais is dying! Preposterous God, if thou knewest how I
laugh at Thy hell! Thais is dying, and she will never be mine--never!
never!"

And as the boat came down the river with the current, he remained whole
days lying on his face, and repeating--

"Never! never! never!"

Then, at the idea that she had given herself to others, and not to him;
that she had poured forth an ocean of love, and he had not wetted his
lips therein, he stood up, savagely wild, and howled with grief. He tore
his breast with his nails, and bit the flesh of his arms. He thought--

"If I could but kill all those she has loved!"

The idea of