r ones
had, as I thought, a celestial origin. I am therefore incapable of that
discernment which is necessary for the ascetic. In either case it is
plain that God is no longer with me,--of which I feel the effects,
though I cannot explain the cause."

He reasoned in this way, and anxiously asked--

"Just God, what trials dost Thou appoint for Thy servants if the
apparitions of Thy saints are a danger for them? Give me to discern, by
an intelligible sign, that which comes from Thee, and that which comes
from the other."

And as God, whose designs are inscrutable, did not see fit to enlighten
his servant, Paphnutius, lost in doubt, resolved not to think of Thais
any more. But his resolutions were vain. Though absent, she was ever
with him. She gazed at him whilst he read, or meditated, or prayed, or
met his eyes wherever he looked. Her imaginary approach was heralded by
a slight sound, such as is made by a woman's dress when she walks, and
the visions had more verisimilitude than reality itself, which moves and
is confused, whereas the phantoms which are caused by solitude are fixed
and unchangeable. She came under various appearances--sometimes pensive,
her head crowned with her last perishable wreath, clad as at the banquet
at Alexandria, in a mauve robe spangled with silver flowers; sometimes
voluptuously in a cloud of light veils, and bathed in the warm shadows
of the Grotto of Nymphs; sometimes in a serge cassock, pious and radiant
with celestial joy; sometimes tragic, her eyes swimming in the terrors
of death, and showing her bare breast bedewed with the blood from her
pierced heart. What disturbed him the most in these visions was that
the wreaths, tunics, and veils, that he had burned with his own hands,
should thus return; it became evident to him that these things had an
imperishable soul, and he cried--

"Lo, all the countless souls of the sins of Thais come upon me!"

When he turned away his head, he felt that Thais was behind him, and
that made him feel still more uneasy. His torture was cruel. But as
his soul and body remained pure in the midst of all his temptations, he
trusted in God, and gently complained to Him.

"My God, if I went so far to seek her amongst the Gentiles, it was for
Thy sake, and not for mine. It would not be just that I should suffer
for what I have done in Thy behalf. Protect me, sweet Jesus! My Saviour,
save me! Suffer not the phantom to accomplish that which the body
could not