dding the blood of brave
men to make the attempt." The French official account boasted of the
victory. "The combat," it said, "took place in sight of both countries;
it was the first of the kind, and the historian would have cause to make
this remark." They guessed our loss at four or five hundred; it amounted
to one hundred and seventy-two. In his private letters to the Admiralty,
Nelson affirmed, that had our force arrived as he intended, it was
not all the chains in France which could have prevented our men
from bringing off the whole of the vessels. There had been no error
committed, and never did Englishmen display more courage. Upon this
point Nelson was fully satisfied; but he said he should never bring
himself again to allow any attack wherein he was not personally
concerned; and that his mind suffered more than if he had had a leg
shot off in the affair. He grieved particularly for Captain Parker, an
excellent officer, to whom he was greatly attached, and who had an aged
father looking to him for assistance. His thigh was shattered in the
action; and the wound proved mortal, after some weeks of suffering
and manly resignation. During this interval, Nelson's anxiety was
very great. "Dear Parker is my child," said he; "for I found him in
distress." And when he received the tidings of his death, he replied:
"You will judge of my feelings: God's will be done. I beg that his hair
may be cut off and given me; it shall be buried in my grave. Poor Mr.
Parker! What a son has he lost! If I were to say I was content, I should
lie; but I shall endeavour to submit with all the fortitude in my power.
His loss has made a wound in my heart, which time will hardly heal."

"You ask me, my dear friend," he says to Lady Hamilton, "if I am going
on more expeditions? and even if I was to forfeit your friendship, which
is dearer to me than all the world, I can tell you nothing. For, I go
out: I see the enemy, and can get at them, it is my duty: and you would
naturally hate me, if I kept back one moment. I long to pay them for
their tricks t'other day, the debt of a drubbing, which surely I'll pay:
but WHEN, WHERE or HOW, it is impossible, your own good sense must tell
you, for me or mortal man to say." Yet he now wished to be relieved from
this service. The country, he said, had attached a confidence to his
name, which he had submitted to, and therefore had cheerfully repaired
to the station; but this boat business, though it might be