becoming manner, with Nelson's limited
means. "I know," said he to Lady Hamilton, "the full extent of the
obligation I owe him, and he may be useful to me again; but I can never
forget his unkindness to you. But, I guess many reasons influenced his
conduct in bragging of his riches and my honourable poverty; but, as I
have often said, and with honest pride, what I have is my own: it never
cost the widow a tear, or the nation a farthing. I got what I have with
my pure blood, from the enemies of my country. Our house, my own Emma,
is built upon a solid foundation; and will last to us, when his houses
and lands may belong to others than his children."

His hope was that peace might soon be made, or that he should be
relieved from his command, and retire to Merton, where at that distance
he was planning and directing improvements. On his birthday he writes,
"This day, my dearest Emma, I consider as more fortunate than common
days, as by my coming into this world it has brought me so intimately
acquainted with you. I well know that you will keep it, and have my dear
Horatio to drink my health. Forty-six years of toil and trouble! How few
more the common lot of mankind leads us to expect! and therefore it
is almost time to think of spending the few last years in peace and
quietness." It is painful to think that this language was not addressed
to his wife, but to one with whom he promised himself "many many happy
years, when that impediment," as he calls her, "shall be removed, if God
pleased; and they might be surrounded by their children's children."

When he had been fourteen months off Toulon, he received a vote of
thanks from the city of London for his skill and perseverance in
blockading that port, so as to prevent the French from putting to sea.
Nelson had not forgotten the wrong which the city had done to the Baltic
fleet by their omission, and did not lose the opportunity which this
vote afforded of recurring to that point. "I do assure your lordship,"
said he, in his answer to the lord mayor, "that there is not that man
breathing who sets a higher value upon the thanks of his fellow-citizens
of London than myself; but I should feel as much ashamed to receive them
for a particular service marked in the resolution, if I felt that I did
not come within that line of service, as I should feel hurt at having a
great victory passed over without notice. I beg to inform your lordship,
that the port of Toulon has never been bl