thought. She would practise self-control and
self-abnegation, and perhaps after a time this dull heartache and sense
of loss would pass away.
Fortified by these excellent resolutions, she took up a book which she
and Francis were reading together and went to his sitting-room. As she
entered she saw him standing in front of a tall mahogany bookcase, the
bottom drawer of which was open and filled with papers. He held one in
his hand, but as he glanced up and saw her he replaced it and closed
the drawer without speaking. His face was very white, and she asked
him anxiously if he was tired.
"A little," he answered, "but not too tired for some reading."
He lay down, and Philippa drew a chair to her accustomed place and
began to read. She read steadily for a while, but presently she
noticed that Francis was paying no attention to the story, although he
had hitherto been interested in it, so she suggested some music. He
assented readily enough, and she went to the piano and played several
of his favourite pieces, but she could see he was not listening. She
took up a song with the intention of singing, but laid it down again,
feeling thankful that he had not asked for it, for the effort would
have been beyond her to-night. To-morrow she would be calmer and
stronger.
But the music soothed her and she sat on, playing from memory, passing
from one thing to another almost without heeding what she was doing.
Many times before she had played to Francis like this in the earlier
days when he had been too weak for sustained conversation, but never
had his silence lasted so long as to-night. It rather alarmed her at
last, and she rose and went to his side.
"Is anything the matter?" she asked. "Are you sure you are not feeling
ill?"
"What should be the matter?" he replied. "No, thank you, darling, I am
not feeling ill, but----" he passed his hand over his forehead with a
gesture of perplexity--"I seem to be thinking of so many things
to-night, that is all."
"Do not tire yourself with thinking," she said earnestly. "Put thought
aside until you are more fit for it--or let me do the thinking for you.
What is it that you want to know?"
"Oh, so many things," he answered, with an attempt at lightness. Then
rising he added: "Perhaps I am a little tired. Will you ring the bell
for Keen? I think I will go to bed. I am sorry, dearest, but I don't
feel like talking to-night. The fresh air has gone to my head, I
th
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