ouse in, say, Bethnal Green. Below stairs she is known
as "the dream-child." My master appears to have married, not so much
beneath him as beyond him. He is "something in the City." This is as
well, for he is nothing in Lancaster Gate. I like him rather._

_You would get on with the butler, who is addicted to drink. The
ladies of the servants' hall are rather trying, but mean well. The
chauffeur is a most superior man. In fact, except that he has been
twice convicted of felony and continually boasts of his successful
desertion from the Army in 1917, there is nothing against him. My work
would be comparatively light if the unfortunate resemblance, to which I
have alluded above, were less pronounced. In a word, the butler's
working day finishes at 2 p.m., and on two occasions I have had to
repair to "The Blue Goat" as late as seven-thirty to hale him out of
the tap-room in time for dinner. His carriage in the dining-room, when
he can hardly see, is one of the wonders of the world._

_Of course I go out with the car--usually to a wedding. The
solemnization of matrimony, especially if one of the parties is of
noble birth, draws the dream-child as a magnet the steel. Need I say
that she is an uninvited guest? Yesterday, at the wedding of a young
Marquess, she was stopped at the doors. "Lef me card at 'ome," was her
majestic reply. Before they had recovered she was in the aisle.
Having regard to her appearance, I am of opinion that such conduct is
libellous._

_On Monday she gave what she calls a "Serciety Crush." This was well
attended, chiefly by aliens, many of whom wore miniature decorations,
to which, I fear, they were not entitled. These were, I fancy, hired
with the dress-coats to which they were fastened. That they enjoyed
the viands is emphasized by the fact that, prior to their departure,
several of the guests concealed about their persons such delicacies as
the flight of time alone had prevented them from consuming. But for
the indisposition of the butler, I should have spent a most amusing
evening._

_Little altercations between my master and mistress are of frequent
occurrence. Occasionally they appeal to me to settle the dispute.
Once I actually took the liberty of separating them. Indeed, as
recently as yesterday evening the dream-child, who had been keeping up
her reading, observed that "the rilewise was thinkin' of givin' up the
narrer gorge."_

_"Gage, me dear--gage," says Mr. Slu