ain clothes on credit.

The originator of the problem thought hard for a minute.

"'E isn't a man as I'd care to trust myself," he said rather
unexpectedly, "an' I don't think no one else would neither."

It was at this point that the man from H.M.S. _Hedgehog_ (or, to be
precise, H.M.S. _Something Else_) fell into the conversation suddenly,
like a bomb.

"'E wouldn't be naked," he said earnestly; "'e'd 'ave 'is shirt."

This was a staggerer. One of those great simple truths sometimes
overlooked by more abstruse thinkers. But the owner of the problem made
one more stand.

"'Oo'd walk about in a shirt?" he said scornfully.

"Me," said the large seaman, "time I was torpedoed...."

He didn't say another word; but the problem was irretrievably lost.
There had been something magnificently daring about the idea of a man
walking about like a lost cherub; partly clothed, nobody cared very much
what became of him.

Besides, we all wanted to hear Admiralty secrets. We sat there in
respectful silence while the train rattled on its way; but the large
seaman only went on smiling peacefully to himself, as if he were
ruminating in immense satisfaction upon unprecedented bags of
submarines.

* * * * *

"The architect for the new building left nothing out that would
at all hamper the comfort of those who make this hotel their
stopping place."--_New Zealand Paper._

We know that architect.

* * * * *

"The _Severn_ was moored in a position 1,000 miles closer to the
enemy than on July 6, which made her fire much more effective."
_Natal Mercury._

We can well believe this.

* * * * *

ANOTHER INDISPENSABLE.

[Illustration: _Chief of Village Fire Brigade._ "We're all ready. Is
steam up?"

_Engineer (temporary)._ "If you want steam in this engine you'll have to
get Thompson 'ome from France to show me 'ow to light the bloomin'
fire."]

* * * * *

TO MY COLD.

Lord of the rheumy eyes and blowing nose,
On whom no fostering sun has ever shone,
What mak'st thou here? Didst thou in sooth believe
Thy presence would be welcome? Hast thou come
Thinking to please me--me who, not at all
Wanting to catch, have caught thee full and fair,
And, loth to get, have got thee none the less?
Why couldst thou not in thine own realms have stayed?
Thou mightst have fo