o the vast
interests included in this vote of thanks, there might be found
some excuse for elaboration of acknowledgment were it not that
discursiveness is entirely at variance with the habits of the
staff."

_Pall Mall Gazette._

After another forty-four years' silence we hope he will really let
himself go.

* * * * *

An Exchange of Ivories.

"Wanted, piano; dentist willing to make artificial teeth for
same, or part."

_Edinburgh Evening Despatch._

* * * * *

A Hint to the Censor.

"To cool hot journals apply a dressing made of 11 lb. blacklead,
23 lb. Epsom salts, 9 lb. sulphur, 2 lb. lampblack and 5 lb.
oxalic acid, mixed and ground together."--_Ironmonger._

* * * * *

HIS BARK IS ON THE SEA.

[Illustration: Mr. Punch. "AND WHAT DID YOU THINK OF COLONEL CHURCHILL'S
SPEECH, SIR?"

Admiral Jellicoe. "I'M AFRAID I DON'T UNDERSTAND THESE THINGS. I'M NOT A
POLITICIAN."

Mr. Punch. "THANK GOD FOR THAT, SIR!"]

* * * * *

ESSENCE OF PARLIAMENT.

_Tuesday, March 7th._--The House of Commons to-day devoted itself to the
process curiously known as "getting the SPEAKER out of the Chair." The
phrase suggests reluctance on the part of the occupant to leave his
seat; though I cannot recall any occasion when the employment of force
has been necessary to persuade Mr. LOWTHER to resign to the Chairman of
Committees the duty of listening to dull speeches. But this afternoon I
can imagine that the SPEAKER would have been well content to remain. For
there was fun brewing. Mr. BALFOUR was to introduce the Naval Estimates,
and his dear friend and ex-colleague, Colonel WINSTON CHURCHILL, was
announced to follow him. The conjunction of these highly-electrified
bodies is always apt to produce sparks. The House was well filled, and
over the clock could be seen Lord FISHER, like "a sweet little cherub
that sits up aloft to keep watch for the life of poor Jacky." The last
time Mr. CHURCHILL spoke of Naval affairs in the House he was not quite
nice to Lord FISHER. Would he be nicer this time?

[Illustration: WINSTON ON LEAVE.

_Bluejacket_. "A party coming aboard, Sir, to see if the Fleet's all
right."

_Admiral Balfour_. "What sort of party?"

_Bluejacket_. "Well, Sir, he's got spurs on."]

I think Mr. BALFOUR must be something of a thought-reade