ing so stupid, O'Donahue, as
domestic happiness, that's a fact; but, altogether, I have been so large
a portion of my life doubtful where I was to get a dinner, that I think
that on the whole I have made a very good choice."

"And may I inquire who is the party to whom Major McShane has
condescended to sacrifice his handsome person?"

"Is it handsome you mane? As the ugly lady said to the looking-glass, I
beg no reflections--you wish to know who she is; well, then, you must be
content to listen to all my adventures from the time we parted, for she
is at the end of them, and I can't read backwards."

"I am at your service, so begin as you please."

"Let me see, O'Donahue, where was it that we parted?"

"If I recollect, it was at the landing made at ---, where you were
reported killed."

"Very true, but that, I gave my honour, was all a lie; it was fat
Sergeant Murphy that was killed, instead of me. He was a terrible
fellow, that Sergeant Murphy; he got himself killed on purpose, because
he never could have passed his accounts; well, he fought like a devil,
so peace be with him. I was knocked down, as you know, with a bullet in
my thigh, and as I could not stand, I sat upon the carcass of Sergeant
Murphy, bound up my leg, and meditated on sublunary affairs. I thought
what a great rogue he was, that Sergeant Murphy, and how he'd gone out
of the world without absolution; and then I thought it very likely that
he might have some money about him, and how much better it would be that
I should have it to comfort me in prison than any rascally Frenchman, so
I put my hand in his pocket and borrowed his purse, which was, taking
the difference of size, as well lined as himself. Well, as you had all
retreated and left me to be taken prisoner, I waited very patiently till
they should come and carry me to the hospital, or wherever else they
pleased. They were not long coming for me: one fellow would have passed
his bayonet through me, but I had my pistol cocked, so he thought it
advisable to take me prisoner. I was taken into the town, not to the
hospital or the prison, but quartered at the house of an old lady of
high rank and plenty of money. Well, the surgeon came and very politely
told me that he must cut off my leg, and I very politely told him to go
to the devil; and the old lady came in and took my part, when she saw
what a handsome leg it was, and sent for another doctor at her own
expense, who promised to set me