e bound the young gentleman has never run away with an
Irishman since that: however, I never heard any more about him, or his
lovely sister."

"Now, then, for the wind up, McShane."

"Courting's very expensive, especially when you order postchaises for
nothing at all, and I was very nearly at the end of my rhino; so I said
to myself, `McShane, you must retrench.' And I did so; instead of
dining at the coffee-house, I determined to go to an eating-house, and
walked into one in Holborn, where I sat down to a plate of good beef and
potatoes, and a large lump of plum-pudding, paid 1 shilling and 6 pence,
and never was better pleased in my life; so I went there again, and
became a regular customer; and the girls who waited laughed with me, and
the lady who kept the house was very gracious. Now, the lady was
good-looking, but she was rather too fat; there was an amiable look
about her, even when she was carving beef; and by degrees we became
intimate, and I found her a very worthy creature, and as simple-minded
as a child, although she could look sharp after her customers. It was,
and is now, a most thriving establishment--nearly two hundred people
dine there every day. I don't know how it was, but I suppose I first
fell in love with her beef; and then with her fair self; and finding
myself well received at all times, I one day, as she was carving a
beefsteak-pie which might have tempted a king for its fragrance, put the
question to her, as to how she would like to marry again. She blushed,
and fixed her eyes down upon the hole she had made in the pie, and then
I observed that if there was a hole in my side as big as there was in
the pie before her, she would see her image in my heart. This pretty
simile did the business for me, and in a month we were married; and I
never shall want a dinner as long as I live, either for myself or
friend. I will put you on the free list, O'Donahue, if you can
condescend to a cook's shop: and I can assure you that I think I have
done a very wise thing, for I don't want to present any wife at Court,
and I have a very comfortable home."

"You have done a wise thing, in my opinion, McShane--you have a wife who
makes money, instead of one who spends it."

"And, moreover, I have found my bargain better that I anticipated, which
is seldom the case in this world of treachery and deceit. She has
plenty of money, and is putting by more every year."

"Which you have the control of, at your